Would I be a bad person...

[jpalamar]

if I didn't go visit my grandmother on her death bed? She has been in poor health for some time now. Julie and I visit her fairly often being that its only 20 minutes from our place. I just don't really see the point of going to the ICU to visit someone that isn't even conscious. I don't want to see her like that nor do I want that to be my last memory of her.

Just wanted some advise because my parent's are pissed at me.

[Scapegoat]

i saw my step-dad's father on his death bed, he was conscious and delirious... i wish i never went because i can't get that image out of my head

I never saw my grandfather while he was sick and dying, i'd rather remember someone in their best years.

If it was my mother, father or sibling (or children when/if i have them) i'll be by the bed the entire time.

[BugEyeGuy]

Your not a bad person if you don't go man not everyone can bare standing there seeing someone like that and it's perfectly understandable you don't want that to be your last memory of her your parents should understand that..

[TROLL]

If she's unconscious she may still be aware of what is going on. If she's not aware though (not sure if theres any way to tell this) then the only reasons to go would be for yourself, or to support your family. You'd obviously not be going for yourself since you'd prefer not to, but if its something thats important to your family, even if its just to be supportive of them, then maybe its something to think about. Everyone deals with this stuff in their own way, some like to distance themselves, some like to be with loved ones, etc etc.

[BradC]

Just man up and go.

It's better to deal with some **** now, then to look back in a few years and say; "man, I wish I would have just got to see her one more time"

[3rdGenMr2Girl]

i went and saw my grandfather when he was on his death bed. he was unconscious but my brothers and i still went and talked to him, let him know the phillies were winning (huge phillies fan), and told him we loved him. it's hard to see someone like that, but we all went to basically say our goodbyes and support my mom. and even if she is unconscious she might still be aware of things. for example, the day before my grandfather passed away (he had been unconscious for a week), my mom was sitting with him and he told her he loved her. that was the last thing he said, and obviously he was aware she was there.

[grimm]

I'd go. you don't get second chances with stuff like that.

[Snoozie]

Originally Posted by grimm

I'd go. you don't get second chances with stuff like that.

Exactly. Years from now you will regret not getting the chance to properly say goodbye. I wouldn't say you were a bad person for not wanting to go though. It's tough to see someone you love and care about like that.

[jspek]

my mom suffered for the last week of her life and what did i do? avoided it at all costs. i still spent time with her but god damn it ****ing wears on my conscious every day. man up and dont be a pussy. my memories of my mom are happy ones of when she was in great health.

[angdefeo]

You go to pay respect to the whole family. Your grandmom may or may not know that your there, but your parents will know. Going there is a sign of support for the living.

[igo4bmx]

is really brings bad sad memories as I watched my grandmother on her death bed at my parent's home. We saw her fall unconscious and then she passed away while i went out to grab food.
no matter how sickly she looked I am really glad I was there for her and wish I was there for her more.

[ndubz]

She is soon to pass on. You will live with your memories. If u dont want that to be your last memory of her then dont go.

[240sxDann]

I really can't say you would or wouldn't be a BAD person whether you go or not, but I will say this much, when my grandfather was on his deathbed, I went to see him. He was in the hospital for some time before this, and I had gone to see him and everybody thought he was going to be ok (he had just had a stint put in his heart) and then things went bad real quick and it was kind of "this is your last chance to see him, get down here", and I went, and I'm glad I did. It wasn't the greatest site, extremely depressing to know he's laying there unconscious just waiting for someone to pull the plug, but I got to give my last goodbye and I'm glad that I did.

[CHAOS]

yes you would be a bad person.

[BustedUjoint]

I have been with my Grandfather when he was on his death bed. And my wife's Grandfather on his. It is hard. Especially with my grandfather who was always working and doing something, seeing his after stroke, not being able to do anything was heartbreaking. BUT, I am very glad that I was there for HIM. Not me, not the family, but for HIM. Although he was unconscience and on machines, I know inside that he knew we were there. He actually did not pass until my aunt/uncle/cousin's arrived from SC/FL. He passed shortly after they arrived and said their goodbyes. My wife's Grandfather, who I was close to, I was in the room with the family on his last day. He was drugged up and not there, but we were there for HIM. And as heartwrenching as it was to be there as he took his last breathe. It was also somewhat comforting to be there for him, knowing that he was not going through it alone.

So, the morally of the story is not only would you be a bad person, but you would be a coward. Stop being a pussy and go see your Grandmother, don't do it for you, or for your family. Do it for HER. Think about it, would you want to die alone? Or would you want to pass with your family "supporting" you? Go up and see her. Now.

[90blacktsiawd]

Seems like most of the people here get it. Get your ass over there as soon as you can. Go and support her/your family. It probably won't be pleasant but it's the right thing to do, period.

[DPancoast]

When my grandfather passed, he was on his death bed at my grandmoms house and I luckily went down the weekend before he passed. He was awake and knew what was going on. Each family member was called in to say goodbye. It was nice to say "I love you grandpap" and give him a hug and kiss on the forehead before he passed.

It's all up to you if you ask me. I was very close to him so I had to do it for myself. You wouldn't be a bad person not to go, but if you can I would.

[oneday]

Do it. Not for you, but for your parents. They will not forget that you were selfish and unwilling to go see their parent before they pass on. It may be uncomfortable for you, but you will still remember your grandmother in here younger days.

[JDMTyler3326]

If you don't go and she passes away your gonna hate yourself for not seeing her.

[ASIAN JUL]

I'd say you should go see her. If you don't go, I wouldn't necessarily call you a bad person.. but I also wouldn't call you the best grandson. It's kind of selfish of you to say you don't want it to be your last memory of her when she might not even really have a chance to say goodbye to you. I'm sure this isn't the way she wants to go either. It's the thought that counts and it's also something that should be done for your parents, since it is one of their mothers.