Dear Santa... - TriStateTuners.com :: Home of Tristate Auto Enthusiast

MuddyREX · 12-24-2005, 09:41 AM

DEAR SANTA:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.

Santa

__________________________________________________ ___________

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world.

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa
__________________________________________________ _______________

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. What you can do?

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he'll give that up to come back to your frigid mom who rides his ass constantly? Give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Lego's instead.

Santa
__________________________________________________ _______________

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're ***, I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa
__________________________________________________ ______________

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of ****tail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Anything else you want to know?

Santa
__________________________________________________ _____________
Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do.

Santa
__________________________________________________ ______________

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Santa

SilverTurboRidin · 12-24-2005, 11:32 AM

hahaha...teh dear teddy is the best

DoubleOughtCel · 12-24-2005, 02:20 PM

AHAHA. awesome. nice find

I have to admit, when I first looked at the top of the post I though it was going to be an "AWW! how cute" letter that one of your kids wrote......

......I should have known better of you haha

Adam496 · 12-24-2005, 02:32 PM

Nice find. There are some funnyones in there.

1988 Olds · 12-24-2005, 02:33 PM

Lol

92talonTSI · 12-24-2005, 02:37 PM

LOL Dear Thomas

WrxJC · 12-24-2005, 03:42 PM

*****NWS******

December 26th 2002
Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I;m writing you today, the day after christmas. Well, i would very much like to clear up certain things that have occured since the beginning of the month, whne, filled with illusion, i wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the 1st in my class, but i had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entrie neighborhood who behaved batter than me, w/my parents, my brothers, friends, and neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.
What balls do you have leaving me a f**king yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the F**k were you thinking, you fat Son of a B*TCH, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole F**king year, to come out with some sh*t like this under the tree. As if you hadn't F**ked me enough, you gave that little f*gg*t across the street so many toys that he can;t even walk into his house.
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat @ss down my chimney nesy year. I'll F**k you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the f**king Noth Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that f**king bike. F**k you santa! Next year you'll find out how bad i can be, you Fat Son of a B*TCH!
Sincerely, Little Johnny

DropTopChevy · 12-25-2005, 09:16 PM

Thats ****** up but its so funny

D Money · 12-25-2005, 09:21 PM

wow that was funny lol

On Sale · 12-25-2005, 09:58 PM

----------

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.

Santa
--------------
BBBBBWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHahahhaaa , omg that is so fricken hilarious

BlackBulletTSi · 12-26-2005, 12:29 AM

hahahahaha I love it

95SC2 · 12-26-2005, 01:19 AM

the dear teddy is the best

12-24-2005, 09:41 AM	#1
MuddyREX Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perkasie, PA Member #82 My Ride: 02 Subaru WRX iTrader: (4)	Dear Santa... DEAR SANTA: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. Santa __________________________________________________ ___________ Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world. Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa __________________________________________________ _______________ Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. What you can do? Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he'll give that up to come back to your frigid mom who rides his ass constantly? Give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Lego's instead. Santa __________________________________________________ _______________ Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're *, I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa __________________________________________________ ______________ Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of *tail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Anything else you want to know? Santa __________________________________________________ _____________ Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. Santa __________________________________________________ ______________ Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Santa __________________ The original, since 1979. <---- 190,000 mile WRX - Gone To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.*

12-24-2005, 11:32 AM	#2
SilverTurboRidin Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: L-town PA Member #197 iTrader: (0)	hahaha...teh dear teddy is the best __________________ Uhh used to be my dog you was in my left titty Scream RYDE OR DIE I thought you would die wit me Found out you a bitch you can't even ryde wit me Now it's a war you ain't on the side wit me To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

12-24-2005, 02:33 PM	#5
1988 Olds Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Levittown, PA Member #201 My Ride: 2012 Chevy Cruze iTrader: (0)	Lol __________________ 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Surpeme Classic To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Dynoed at 237hp and 292lbs at the rear wheels. Hmm ran 13.52 @ 103.42 11/10/06 1994 Hunter Green Acura Integra DB7, Stock

12-24-2005, 02:37 PM	#6
92talonTSI Tri-State Aficionado Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: West Milford, NJ Member #1010 iTrader: (0)	LOL Dear Thomas __________________ 1992 Ford Mustang GT Flowmaster catback exhaust \| 3.73 Gears \| BBK CAI \| Subframe conectors \| Eibach lowering springs 1992 Eagle Talon TSI AWD Totaled. R.I.P

12-24-2005, 03:42 PM	#7
WrxJC Tri-State Addict Join Date: May 2005 Location: Feasterville Member #412 My Ride: 2007 Wrx iTrader: (0)	***NWS** December 26th 2002 Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I;m writing you today, the day after christmas. Well, i would very much like to clear up certain things that have occured since the beginning of the month, whne, filled with illusion, i wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the 1st in my class, but i had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entrie neighborhood who behaved batter than me, w/my parents, my brothers, friends, and neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls do you have leaving me a fking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the F*k were you thinking, you fat Son of a BTCH, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole F*king year, to come out with some sht like this under the tree. As if you hadn't F*ked me enough, you gave that little fggt across the street so many toys that he can;t even walk into his house. Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat @ss down my chimney nesy year. I'll Fk you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fking Noth Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fking bike. Fk you santa! Next year you'll find out how bad i can be, you Fat Son of a BTCH! Sincerely, Little Johnny __________________ formerly wrxjrl

12-24-2005, 02:32 PM	#4
Adam496 Tri-State Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Northern Jersey Member #906 iTrader: (0)	Nice find. There are some funnyones in there.

12-25-2005, 09:16 PM	#8
DropTopChevy Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: In a big house Member #242 My Ride: 2002 2.8 30V V6 iTrader: (6)	Thats ****** up but its so funny __________________ The great thing about being an architect is that you can walk into your dreams. - Harold E. Wagoner, 1986

12-25-2005, 09:58 PM	#10
On Sale Tri-State Post Whore Banned Join Date: Sep 2005 Member #869 iTrader: (5)	---------- I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. Santa -------------- BBBBBWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHahahhaaa , omg that is so fricken hilarious

12-26-2005, 12:29 AM	#11
BlackBulletTSi Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: L~Town Member #224 My Ride: 99 Eclipse GSX iTrader: (3)	hahahahaha I love it __________________ Check my music out at To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Recently joined record label Strike Division, new tracks to come soon. New DJ community being built, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. COMING SOON!!

12-26-2005, 01:19 AM	#12
95SC2 Tri-State Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Langhorne,PA Member #560 My Ride: 05 Xterra, 97 Taurus SHO & 05 Yamaha r1 iTrader: (1)	the dear teddy is the best

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