Christams party memo - TriStateTuners.com :: Home of Tristate Auto Enthusiast

Crzyguy972 · 12-15-2005, 05:13 PM

FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 4th November 2005

RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.

And don't be surprised if the VP shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
employees! The VP will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family,

Dave
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_

FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 5th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Dave.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_

FROM; Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Dave.
_ __________________________________________________ ______________________________

FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, ***s are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with *** men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the *** men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing to be allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.

Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Dave.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_

FROM: Dave Gross, Director

TO: All Freaking Employees

DATE: 8 November 2005

RE: The Freaking Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so
quaintly put it, you'll get your Freaking salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.

The Grouch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________ ______________________________
_

FROM: Ken Sack - Acting Director

DATE: 9th November 2005

RE: Dave Gross and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Dave Gross a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to him. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off - with out pay.

DropTopChevy · 12-15-2005, 05:34 PM

LOL

07BlackSS · 12-15-2005, 05:40 PM

Please tell me that was real, cause if it was that was f'n great!. My company usually has the same old e-mail thing...some of the things that I read in my cubicle make me cry its so funny!

Crzyguy972 · 12-15-2005, 07:38 PM

nope not real well at least not from my work

SexyScionTC · 12-15-2005, 08:02 PM

Thats Amazing! I hate politically correct people...

Overrated_Scooby · 12-15-2005, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexyScionTC

Thats Amazing! I hate politically correct people...

And I hate girls that think they are hot but arn't, any girl; that likes cars is usually butch or some ****.

teh DIRT · 12-15-2005, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Overrated_Scooby

And I hate girls that think they are hot but arn't, any girl; that likes cars is usually butch or some ****.

haha. your not used to TST. 90% of the girl tuners here are really hot looking.

SexyScionTC · 12-15-2005, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Overrated_Scooby

And I hate girls that think they are hot but arn't, any girl; that likes cars is usually butch or some ****.

Sorry Sweetheart but if you saw me you would feel like an ass...I know cars and I am hott, but no where close to a bitch...just ask my boyfriend Greddy2000civic

FFG · 12-15-2005, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Overrated_Scooby

And I hate girls that think they are hot but arn't, any girl; that likes cars is usually butch or some ****.

what a tool.....

*edit* The x-mas party email was a riot!

slavetothemuzic · 12-15-2005, 09:58 PM

That email is teh old. Funny but old.

Been getting that one for like 5 or 6 years now.

07BlackSS · 12-15-2005, 09:59 PM

I wish this kid was still around....

Back onto topic I am actually lookinga round my works e-mail right now to find some of these lol...they are hilarious!

12-15-2005, 05:13 PM	#1
Crzyguy972 Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Langhorne, PA Member #514 My Ride: 2005 Mazda 6 iTrader: (1)	Christams party memo FROM: Dave Gross, Director TO: All Employees DATE: 4th November 2005 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the VP shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The VP will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family, Dave __________________________________________________ ______________________________ _ FROM: Dave Gross, Director TO: All Employees DATE: 5th November 2005 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family, Dave. __________________________________________________ ______________________________ _ FROM; Dave Gross, Director TO: All Employees DATE: 6th November 2005 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Dave. _ __________________________________________________ ______________________________ FROM: Dave Gross, Director TO: All Employees DATE: 7th November 2005 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, *s are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with * men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the *** men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing to be allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! Dave. __________________________________________________ ______________________________ _ FROM: Dave Gross, Director TO: All Freaking Employees DATE: 8 November 2005 RE: The Freaking Holiday Party. Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your Freaking salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die. The Grouch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________________________________________ ______________________________ _ FROM: Ken Sack - Acting Director DATE: 9th November 2005 RE: Dave Gross and Holiday Party I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Dave Gross a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to him. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off - with out pay.

12-15-2005, 05:34 PM	#2
DropTopChevy Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: In a big house Member #242 My Ride: 2002 2.8 30V V6 iTrader: (6)	LOL __________________ The great thing about being an architect is that you can walk into your dreams. - Harold E. Wagoner, 1986

12-15-2005, 05:40 PM	#3
07BlackSS Tri-State Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Swarthmore, PA Member #852 iTrader: (0)	Please tell me that was real, cause if it was that was f'n great!. My company usually has the same old e-mail thing...some of the things that I read in my cubicle make me cry its so funny! __________________ NEW Project: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

12-15-2005, 09:58 PM	#10
slavetothemuzic Tri-State Addict Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, WA. Member #421 My Ride: 1991 Nissan 240SX SE Fastback iTrader: (0)	That email is teh old. Funny but old. Been getting that one for like 5 or 6 years now. __________________ "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell

12-15-2005, 09:59 PM	#11
07BlackSS Tri-State Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Swarthmore, PA Member #852 iTrader: (0)	I wish this kid was still around.... Back onto topic I am actually lookinga round my works e-mail right now to find some of these lol...they are hilarious! __________________ NEW Project: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

12-15-2005, 07:38 PM	#4
Crzyguy972 Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Langhorne, PA Member #514 My Ride: 2005 Mazda 6 iTrader: (1)	nope not real well at least not from my work

12-15-2005, 08:02 PM	#5
SexyScionTC Tri-State Training Wheels Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Clifton Heights Member #1171 iTrader: (0)	Thats Amazing! I hate politically correct people...

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