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Vypurr · 03-04-2008, 01:42 PM

Girls -- you must have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR
EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bi*ch knows I'm smarter than her.

alwaysinboost · 03-04-2008, 01:48 PM

thats awesome, I'm putting that one in the memory banks for future use.

LilSubiedrvr · 03-04-2008, 01:48 PM

ROFLMAO hahaha that is great! And I am a girl. (but I don't care about shopping nearly that much so maybe I am a weird girl) haha

~Brian~ · 03-04-2008, 01:48 PM

Hahaha, nice!

den9 · 03-04-2008, 02:06 PM

haha i heard that one, and thats priceless

HatchSurfer3 · 03-04-2008, 02:20 PM

hahahaha thats awesome

lownslow95 · 03-04-2008, 02:40 PM

cmr076 · 03-04-2008, 03:01 PM

hahahaha i love that!!!

james_ls · 03-04-2008, 11:04 PM

LoL is it bad...that I took notes out of that?

ThePrimerSuspect · 03-04-2008, 11:11 PM

this makes me so happy i dont have a girlfriend anymore

Signatus230 · 03-04-2008, 11:12 PM

Thats priceless. I WILL remember that. In fact, I will memorize it.

Gregory · 03-04-2008, 11:18 PM

touché

Honduh · 03-04-2008, 11:42 PM

hahaha that was awesome. I lol'ed.

Kerplunk105 · 03-04-2008, 11:45 PM

hahaha. That actually is kinda funny

WRX_JB · 03-05-2008, 12:11 AM

saved.

**TROLL** · 03-05-2008, 12:13 AM

yep, passed this on to my coworker today, funny stuff.

SovXietday · 03-05-2008, 12:17 AM

LOL omg that was amazing.

mrchariybrown · 03-05-2008, 12:41 AM

hahaha that was pretty funny

05suby · 03-05-2008, 03:20 AM

haha read that before. its funny everytime you read it.

iloveitsideways · 03-05-2008, 10:33 AM

i'm also a chick and shopping it really me, unless i need to go, i like cars way better then clothes =]

03-04-2008, 02:20 PM	#6
HatchSurfer3 Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Sep 2005 Member #853 My Ride: 2013 Ford Focus ST iTrader: (4)	hahahaha thats awesome __________________ -Joey- FRP™ #5

03-04-2008, 03:01 PM	#8
cmr076 Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: blue bell/gwynedd valley, PA Member #2319 My Ride: S4 iTrader: (8)	hahahaha i love that!!! __________________ 135 ├┼┼╕ 246R

03-04-2008, 11:04 PM	#9
james_ls TST Ruined My Life! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Warrington Member #1614 My Ride: 1998 Acura Integra LS//VTEC iTrader: (0)	LoL is it bad...that I took notes out of that? __________________ *Heller Dope* - When the ** is doper than Hellen Keller; it's Heller Dope To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. BUY MY STUFF!** To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

03-04-2008, 11:18 PM	#12
Gregory Tri-State Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Member #1461 My Ride: 1998 Mitsubish Eclipse GS-T, 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee iTrader: (0)	touché __________________ ~2gb Mitsubishi Eclipse GS-T ~WJ Jeep Grand Cherokee

03-04-2008, 11:45 PM	#14
Kerplunk105 Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: May 2006 Location: Langhorne, PA Member #1967 My Ride: 2007 Subaru Impreza iTrader: (2)	hahaha. That actually is kinda funny __________________ ~Elizabeth~

03-04-2008, 01:48 PM	#2
alwaysinboost Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: still at work Member #1454 My Ride: 04 EVO Wrecked by Oakes Detailing iTrader: (0)	thats awesome, I'm putting that one in the memory banks for future use.

03-04-2008, 01:48 PM	#3
LilSubiedrvr Tri-State Addict Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: PA Member #5777 My Ride: '01 Subaru 2.5 RS iTrader: (0)	ROFLMAO hahaha that is great! And I am a girl. (but I don't care about shopping nearly that much so maybe I am a weird girl) haha

03-04-2008, 02:06 PM	#5
den9 Tri-State Post Whore Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: doylestown Member #1198 My Ride: turbo diesel iTrader: (0)	haha i heard that one, and thats priceless

03-04-2008, 11:11 PM	#10
ThePrimerSuspect Tri-State Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: philly Member #1241 iTrader: (0)	this makes me so happy i dont have a girlfriend anymore

03-04-2008, 11:42 PM	#13
Honduh Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: May 2006 Member #1977 iTrader: (0)	hahaha that was awesome. I lol'ed.

03-05-2008, 12:11 AM	#15
WRX_JB Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: May 2006 Location: RoFo Member #1907 My Ride: 2005 Wrx iTrader: (0)	saved. __________________ formerly Kiro -AWD Civic 91' - Sold -2000 Cavalier -Sold -2005 Wrx Member Profile- To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Weekly Meet (Oaks) - To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

03-05-2008, 03:20 AM	#19
05suby Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Aston Member #5738 My Ride: 2005 WRX iTrader: (1)	haha read that before. its funny everytime you read it. __________________ WFCrew #231 Form > Function Static > Bagged To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. ....GO R.I.P. Sherwood "No Home"

03-05-2008, 10:33 AM	#20
iloveitsideways Tri-State Aficionado Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: new jersey Member #6083 My Ride: s13 hatch iTrader: (0)	i'm also a chick and shopping it really me, unless i need to go, i like cars way better then clothes =] __________________ i bang gears in 4" heels

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