JOKE THREAD post up your best

[drew]

lets here your best


here are some of my favs


a rich man and a poor man are out shopping for birthday presents for their wives. the poor man asks the rich man whathe's getting his wife 'i'm getting her a mink coat and a porsche, i figure if she doesn't like the mink coat, she'll like the porsche. what about you?' the poor man replies 'im getting her a pair of slippers and a dildo, that way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go **** herself'

another good one

a bloke goes to church to confess his sins to a priest 'forgive me father for i have sinned! i made hot passionate love to a woman half jy age last night over and over again' the priest thinks long and hard and says 'take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass then drink it' - 'will this cleanse my soul and forgive my sins?' the man asks, 'no,' the priest says 'but it'll wipe that smile off your face'

and...

2 guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches and demands they hand over all their money. they both get out their wallets and take out their cash. before handing the money over one of the guys turns to his friend and hands him a $50 bill 'here's that money i owe you' he says

[smg267]

"tristatetuners.com" [/thread]

[Vypurr]

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back,just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: "We have to be on the look-out; it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties..."
The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, 'From all of us at the Firehouse, we will never forget you.' "

[redg2]

Originally Posted by Vypurr

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back,just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a nearby flower wreath.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: "We have to be on the look-out; it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties..."
The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read, 'From all of us at the Firehouse, we will never forget you.' "

ahahah that second one is so funny

[guesswho]

Why did the chicken cross the road?















To get to the other side!

[drew]

boy that was clever and witty! who would have thought of posting some retarded grade school joke in a (failed) attempt to be funny! thank god the king of comedy chimed in, please post more!

[CHAOS]

george bush is a good president.

[lownslow95]

Originally Posted by CHAOS

george bush is a good president.

hahaha thats a good one

[Vypurr]

I don't get it? Why do you guys have to fill every thread with useless chatter?

[lownslow95]

Originally Posted by Vypurr

I don't get it? Why do you guys have to fill every thread with useless chatter?

because this thread is about good jokes and well...george bush explains everything

[CHAOS]

useless? how dare you say my joke was useless lol


whats easier to unload, a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of bowling balls?



a truck full of dead babies... you cant use a pitchfork on bowling balls.

[lownslow95]

Q:How do you get a baby to stop from crawling around in circles on the floor?
A:Nail its other foot the the floor.
Q:Whats blue with orange on the bottom of a swimming pool?
A:A dead baby with slashed floaties.

[malloyboy1]

a group of sailors are stationed waiting for a ship the next morning, who got on the ship 1st?











the gay ones, becasue they packed their **** the night before

[1fastalon]

How many women does it take to change a light bulb???? NONE! They all sit in the dark and bitch!

[92dxman]

Q: What do the Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both have the ability to get people to scream Jesus Christ

Q: What do you call an Eagles player with a Super Bowl Ring?
A: A thief

Q: What do you call Roseanne with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese

[esunbaboon]

Women's rights.

[guesswho]

Originally Posted by drew

boy that was clever and witty! who would have thought of posting some retarded grade school joke in a (failed) attempt to be funny! thank god the king of comedy chimed in, please post more!

Do you know what's funny about your statement? Is the fact that I am still in grade school! 9th grader at carroll highschool.

[drew]

Originally Posted by guesswho

Do you know what's funny about your statement? Is the fact that I am still in grade school! 9th grader at carroll highschool.

uh, grade school is K-5 or K-6 depending on what state you live in

[nopistons94]

whats the worst part about owning a WRX ?


telling your parents your gay.

[zerioustt]

1. how do you get a tissue to dance?

put a little boogie in it.

2. why was 6 scared of 7?

cause 7 ate 9.

3. why do golfers wear two pair of pants?

incase they get a hole in one.

4. what do you call a deer with no eyes?

i have no eye deer

5. what do you call cow with no legs?

ground beef.

6. why did the ballerina wear a tu tu?

because the one one was to small and the three three was too big.