Need some gf advice (kinda long sry)

[boostedfury]

Ok guys here's the story, and for members who know me or the gf please keep her name private and dont mention it. I have been dating this girl for 7 months now and in the beginning there were major issues with her ex, because she just broke up with him like a month before. I dealt with all the phone calls and her mood swings and all that. Thought that was over. Well over the past month or so, things have changed drastically. She just turned 21, and lives down the shore the whole summer, so that right there is rough. Than the other day at the WC BBQ I get a phone call at like 1230, and anyone in attendance seen I was setting up and trying to get everything organzied the whole half of the morning with the rest of the people. She goes I am calling to bi tch at you, I laugh and go y? Her response: because you never call me unless its on your work breaks. Now mind you, my work breaks are short and I will call and either shes still sleeping, possibly sick from drinking the night before, or she says call me later, again when its convenient to her.

So back to now. Last night myself, J. Ralli, and Bullittkm34 went to Penn's Landing and took some pics. In leaving there my power brakes on the pos neon decide hey, F U Dante and went. So after about 3 hrs waiting for a tow truck, watching my front bumper scrape, and of course getting bitched at when she called, it made it to the dealer and I am carless.

I had planned on heading down to visit her leaving tomorrow night and spending the weekend. Now her first thing was'nt, omg your brakes went, it to me anyway, seemed more about so "I guess you can't come down for the weekend now!"

Than to add, I had a shi tacular(sp) day at work, felt like **** and realized I'm carless. So I call her after work, Im at a drive through she goes call me when you get home... I get home start making some dinner she calls, and again its like "O so you are home already, I reply sry making dinner, she says o but you didn't call, and I laugh bc im thinking its not even 30 mins later. So that went crappy. Just called her like 10 mins ago. Now shes at home, down the shore sitting in, meaning bored as hell while her girls are at work. So she pretty much got annoyed as usual bc I was a lil annoyed and she's like you don't need to take it out on me......

So she said bye, pissed with me, and I sit here now like wtf do I do. We fought on Sunday about the stupid phone calls, obviously nothing changed. It seems like it's her way, or no way.

Please lend some advice on what I can do, bc in all of this, the good times with her are awesome and I strongly Love her. But it just seems recently there are more bad times....

O and to rent the car for the weekend it will be like 70 bucks

[97TurboDSM]

hey i feel your pain. i've dealt with similar situations and all i can say if you truly do not want to break up with her is try to get some time to see her if at all possible so you can sit down and talk face to face. playing phone tag with one another just makes things 10x worse for the both of you. try and go down to the beach with her, take her for a walk along the beach at night and just talk like you talked when you first started dating. dating is about going back the basics and trying to keep things as light and as fun as you can. the thrill of the first few dates is what gets a lot of people excited about a significant other so if you can try and do those same things deep into the relationship then it should get better. if none of this is helping you at all and then just nevermind, but it seemed to help me anyway. good luck with the girl and the car

[boostedfury]

thanks alot for the words man, I def agree a heart to heart talk def needs to happen, and I guess if she doesnt want to listen at all than I need to end it

[97TurboDSM]

sure thing man, anything to help. i would assume, not knowing you or her, that she would be very open to a heart to heart since she seems to care about getting attention from you. so just kinda go at it with an open mind, and try not to have too much of an attitude lol cause that gets us guys in trouble a lot. at least it did me, i have a short temper

[boostedfury]

yea she just has that attitude where she can change the circumstance and make me look like the bad guy, which all girls are good at

[TROLL]

yeah you gotta sit her down and hopefully she'll realize that she's bitching for no reason... that you care and its all good and she needs to change her attitude from negative to positive, you'll both be a lot happier that way.
if she cant or doesnt want to change, there's someone better out there for you, cause that crap is a waste of your time.

[boostedfury]

yea thats true its just that if i lose her i will feel like crap and its always the worst feeling losing someone you love

[DoubleOughtCel]

Yea, it really comes down to her realizing that there are other things going on in your life. If you're a busy guy, she needs to understand that and know that you give her whatever time you can. Otherwise, bounce her, because it seems like she doesn't like the fact that she is not always the first thing on your list.

[cburwell]

At the end of all of this, you have to make your own decisions.

I have learned from personal experience and the experiences of others that when some girls get bored it can spell trouble for you (the guy). I went through similar things with my GF and at one point I told her she needed to get a hobby because she was coming up with some crazy stuff. That's not to say that I was never to blame.

She has to understand that you have priorities, and she is not your #1 priority. These priorities will keep you from being in contact with her 24/7. It's your choice on how you tell her this stuff.

You go to school and you work full time, and from the sounds of it she gets to go to the shore and pretty much loaf around for the entire summer. She probably thinks that you should be down there with her since SHE has nothing else better to do (therefore you don't have anything else better to do). Working full time and going to school is not an easy thing, but you have yourself on a good track to be successful in life. She may not understand that right away, but over time she may start to see. If she doesn't start to understand, then she may never.

That's just my opinion of the situation. You know it better then I do, so you be the judge. I know it hurts to lose someone you love, but you will move on eventually.

[TurboDSMJ]

Hey man, let it go. It's the distance, when you live away from someone you care about and can't say exactly when you'll be seeing them and what they are doing without you around, it's rough. My girlfriend lives in Manhattan during school months, and for a solid 8 months, I don't know when I'll be seeing her next. This weekend, maybe next weekend, sometime soon?

So the distance makes you fight 10x more. We'll argue every night until I see her sometimes then things go good. You just need to take it in stride and don't worry about it. Just make sure she knows you care, and try to make her feel even more important since it sounds like she needs to hear that now.

It'll all go smooth, you'll eventually learn to deal with it, and by then she will be home.

[HickRocket1258]

Dante knowing you and your girlfriend, I think you just need to let it all play out. Obviously all the couples go through their little fights, especially when the relationship keeps getting longer and longer. But as Tristian's brother said, I think it is more just the distance than anything. Tends to get to people when they haven't seen eachother for a certain amount of time, especially when I know you two saw eachother a lot at school. I mean you are trying to call her when you have the time, she just might not pick up when you try. She should at least be happy that you tried to call or did. Just try your best to go and see her and if you can't, she just has to understand you might not have the time like her. And if she really cares about you or the relationship then she should understand why you can't just drop everything and come see her. Hope it works out for you man.

[Broken5hift]

see jspeks sig

[CHAOS]

dante, for real i didnt read all of ur post.. but i got far enough to realize this girl sounds alot like one of my ex's ... i nearly blew off my hand with a smoke grenade a few years ago and her only response was "i guess you cant take me to church in the morning" and i wanted to go home and sleep and she flipped... get rid of her man... its more stress than its really worth.

[ITSTOCK]

Two sides to every story???

At any rate, she's probably ****ing every guy there is down the shore!

[tjf]

sounds like she wants to be in control of you man, i mean my car may not be much but if it blew up or somethin my g/f would know that id be pissed

to me it looks like this girl dont even know you at all or only wants things for herself

[CarrRyanE]

trust me dude.... get out... you dont need that BS drama in your life! Find a real women!

[Scapegoat]

just cause you drive a neon doesn't mean you have to be a pussy...

this **** isn't working out, say good bye

[mr_eh]

beat up the rental car to get your aggression out

[smg267]

[cranshinibon]

Originally Posted by CHAOS

dante, for real i didnt read all of ur post.. but i got far enough to realize this girl sounds alot like one of my ex's ... i nearly blew off my hand with a smoke grenade a few years ago and her only response was "i guess you cant take me to church in the morning" and i wanted to go home and sleep and she flipped... get rid of her man... its more stress than its really worth.

CHAOS has a good point bc i know how he feels and it could be very much the way to go.

Originally Posted by ITSTOCK

Two sides to every story???

At any rate, she's probably ****ing every guy there is down the shore!

Originally Posted by smg267

to both ITSTOCK and smg267 go get a ****ing life. he's sitting here asking for advice and you two need to be completely immature and make fun of him or make him think horrible thoughts. it's not funny to say oh go kill yourself or make him worry if she's faithful. post something worthwhile or stfu, honestly.

as far as my piece, i think you two should just talk things out, the thing is relationships have to be equal, if you have stuff to do and she gets pissed bc you don't call her, then call her and say hey i have a few things to do ill call you when im finished, that way she knows what to expect and doesn't have to feel like she's being neglected. also, it shows her that you do care enough to fill her in rather than her believing you to be blowing her off completely and finding something better to do.

if she keeps getting so upset tell her that you care about her and explain things that are going on. girls are like a rose. you need to take care of them daily, show them you care, and give them plenty of attention, however with every beautiful rose a thorn can always catch you by surprise, you just need to know where the thorns are and how to avoid them.

regardless good luck with everything and i hope all goes well.