Deer Santa - TriStateTuners.com :: Home of Tristate Auto Enthusiast

Mrjaydeeone · 12-19-2006, 09:36 PM

deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,

BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace

and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love,

Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love,

Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.

Santa

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,

Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of ****tail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Santa

P.S.

Tell your mom she got the part.

Long Dong Claus

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love,

Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.

Santa

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,

Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,

Santa

87fierogt · 12-19-2006, 09:54 PM

thats funny

james_ls · 12-20-2006, 12:03 AM

LoL was that on here or Myspace...I read that before...

Honduh · 12-20-2006, 12:52 PM

LOL i like the one about banging the babysitter like a screen door in a huricane.

DoubleOughtCel · 12-20-2006, 02:55 PM

Someone posted it last year, still funny.

EDIT: Of course, it was posted by Muddy!

last years>>>>>>> http://www.tristatetuners.com/forum/...ght=dear+santa

12-19-2006, 09:36 PM	#1
Mrjaydeeone Tri-State Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Woodbridge NJ/Staten Island NY Member #1587 iTrader: (1)	Deer Santa deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the **s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of tail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Santa P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging ** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. 2001 Galant ES 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Special Edition

12-20-2006, 12:03 AM	#3
james_ls TST Ruined My Life! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Warrington Member #1614 My Ride: 1998 Acura Integra LS//VTEC iTrader: (0)	LoL was that on here or Myspace...I read that before... __________________ *Heller Dope* - When the ** is doper than Hellen Keller; it's Heller Dope To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. BUY MY STUFF!** To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
BAD santa	04 Turbo Spec	Gallery	1	03-30-2007 06:03 PM
look what santa is bringing	04 Turbo Spec	Gallery	17	12-30-2005 03:13 AM
Dear Santa...	MuddyREX	Off-Topic	11	12-26-2005 01:19 AM
SANTA on a firetruck	WrxJC	Spotted!	11	12-19-2005 08:47 PM
Bad Santa.....	FFG	Off-Topic	10	12-10-2005 02:10 PM

12-19-2006, 09:54 PM	#2
87fierogt Tri-State Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: levittown pa Member #1760 My Ride: 82 v8 s10 iTrader: (1)	thats funny

12-20-2006, 12:52 PM	#4
Honduh Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: May 2006 Member #1977 iTrader: (0)	LOL i like the one about banging the babysitter like a screen door in a huricane.