Something to Offend Everyone - TriStateTuners.com :: Home of Tristate Auto Enthusiast

Mrjaydeeone · 06-29-2006, 08:47 PM

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

10 years and 45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins

"Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Slo240 · 06-29-2006, 09:08 PM

didnt offend me though, me and my girlfriend got a ton of laughs.

05OCsrt-4 · 06-29-2006, 09:11 PM

pretty good, and it shouldn't offend anyone unless they have no sense of humor

~Brian~ · 06-30-2006, 11:40 AM

Hahaha, thats great stuff!

Heres another one for you:

How did the 14 year old Mexican girl get pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

SexyDSM95 · 06-30-2006, 11:44 AM

Didn't offend me because it's true...sorry

BlackBulletTSi · 06-30-2006, 12:16 PM

lol those were excellent

MPowerKai · 06-30-2006, 04:34 PM

I'm sooo offended......

I joke I joke

06-29-2006, 08:47 PM	#1
Mrjaydeeone Tri-State Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Woodbridge NJ/Staten Island NY Member #1587 iTrader: (1)	Something to Offend Everyone What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong". What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s*t.... Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.* 2001 Galant ES 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Special Edition

06-30-2006, 12:16 PM	#6
BlackBulletTSi Tri-State Post Whore Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: L~Town Member #224 My Ride: 99 Eclipse GSX iTrader: (3)	lol those were excellent __________________ Check my music out at To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Recently joined record label Strike Division, new tracks to come soon. New DJ community being built, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. COMING SOON!!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
I hope this doesn't offend anyone- Special..cooking	dubjinc	Off-Topic	1	06-19-2007 09:06 PM
Are you having trouble trying to offend someone	Specnomore	Off-Topic	9	01-16-2007 02:04 PM
this is sure to offend	Scapegoat	Off-Topic	6	06-16-2006 09:32 PM

06-29-2006, 09:08 PM	#2
Slo240 Tri-State Aficionado Join Date: Jun 2006 Member #2003 My Ride: 93 325i DD ~ 91 MR2 ~ 86 MR2 iTrader: (1)	didnt offend me though, me and my girlfriend got a ton of laughs.

06-30-2006, 11:44 AM	#5
SexyDSM95 Tri-State Post Whore Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Glenside, PA Member #188 iTrader: (1)	Didn't offend me because it's true...sorry