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05-11-2006, 02:26 PM
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#1 | |
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The Calendar Master
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: FL (the 6th Tri-state State)
Member #34
My Ride: 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon MBP iTrader: (0)
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Aircraft Repairs: L-O-L funnay
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. ---- After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in ****pit. S: Something tightened in ****pit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in ****pit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget
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~Ashley *formerly CarWidow* {TST Orig No. 34 / HP#002} {{{---MPIBTY My favorite wagon quote: Quote:
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05-11-2006, 02:31 PM
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TST Ruined My Life!
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haha good stuff
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05-11-2006, 02:49 PM
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Tri-State Addict
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Vancouver, WA.
Member #421
My Ride: 1991 Nissan 240SX SE Fastback iTrader: (0)
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This is teh old....but yet...still funny...well...these couple are funny
Quote:
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"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell |
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05-11-2006, 03:07 PM
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#4 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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Those were hilarious. I like the last one a lot.
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05-11-2006, 03:39 PM
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#5 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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F-ing awesome.
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The original, since 1979. <---- 190,000 mile WRX - Gone
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05-11-2006, 03:45 PM
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#7 | |
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The Calendar Master
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: FL (the 6th Tri-state State)
Member #34
My Ride: 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon MBP iTrader: (0)
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ahhh, i SO missed you calling me that...
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~Ashley *formerly CarWidow* {TST Orig No. 34 / HP#002} {{{---MPIBTY My favorite wagon quote: Quote:
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05-11-2006, 04:18 PM
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#9 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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hahahahahahahaha OMG I am laughing my ass off over here about those lol
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Check my music out at To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Recently joined record label Strike Division, new tracks to come soon. New DJ community being built, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. COMING SOON!! |
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05-11-2006, 04:19 PM
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The Calendar Master
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: FL (the 6th Tri-state State)
Member #34
My Ride: 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon MBP iTrader: (0)
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i'm so glad you guys are enjoying them as much as i did!
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~Ashley *formerly CarWidow* {TST Orig No. 34 / HP#002} {{{---MPIBTY My favorite wagon quote: Quote:
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05-11-2006, 04:19 PM
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Tri-State Addict
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-- Wake |
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05-11-2006, 06:12 PM
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The Calendar Master
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: FL (the 6th Tri-state State)
Member #34
My Ride: 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon MBP iTrader: (0)
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thanks for posting that new stuff- too funny! i love the one about the whining and the pilot being removed
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~Ashley *formerly CarWidow* {TST Orig No. 34 / HP#002} {{{---MPIBTY My favorite wagon quote: Quote:
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05-11-2006, 07:33 PM
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Tri-State Aficionado
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The funniest part to me is that I actually am an aircraft mechanic and some of these would probually work. You'd be supprised at some of the squaks we get from pilots.
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05-11-2006, 11:51 PM
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Tri-State Post Whore
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here is one I found in my old log from when I worked at Trenton mercer airport.
"Copilot door missing." and this one is great. "Pilot radio select knob relocated to ashtray."
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My GC8 UR STi |
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05-12-2006, 12:04 AM
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TST Ruined My Life!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Downingtown. PA
Member #1050
My Ride: 2008 Evo X GSR, 2002 Honda CRV iTrader: (0)
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haha never seen that before!!
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05-12-2006, 12:23 AM
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#18 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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*formerly 95nracer* Instagram @Silverfc88 11.6@123mph Streetport 13bt, Haltech Sprint RE, FIC 1150cc + Delphi 1000cc injectors, Walbro 255, Borg Warner s360 .88, HKS mani, JGS 50mm, Greddy FMIC, HKS Twin Power, AEM water/meth inj |
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05-12-2006, 09:05 PM
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#20 |
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Tri-State Addict
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: McGuire AFB, NJ - Cherry Hill
Member #345
My Ride: 2004 JPB Subaru WRX Sedan iTrader: (0)
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hmm, Gdog might get this one..
antiskid system fail lights illuminated in the official position umm, dewd.. thats the off position. yes it has happened to me. Koho, it probably all came from me.. WUC 070 broke = pwn Gooey.
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2009 Dodge Ram 5.7 ltr beast 2004 Java WRX - SOLD 2005 Silver Forester XT - Wife 2014 Outback 2014 STi Hatch 2013 Yukon SLT |
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