So my girlfriend wants to go to her friends wedding in Florida come May and wants me to come with and well she wants to make a vacation out of it. I don't want to be spending all that money on hotel and air fare and ****.

my mom expects me to pitch in $15g+ to my sisters wedding in 2 years, and possiable another unknown sum of money to help them get the church they want for thier wedding, since my mom and my dad don't have that kinda of cash saved up.

shes told me "Your money is just sitting there, doing nothing."

and then she even brought up the idea that maybe i should sell both my mugen and civic, and use that money to help out in my sisters wedding. :mad:

LOL. I'm sorry, but if my parents said anything like that to me, I'd laugh right at them. That's saying something because I love them, a lot, and there is a lot I'd do for them. However, from the sounds of it, your sister can go do something about it since she is the one getting married after all. It shouldn't be resting on you to make it happen when you don't see any benefit back. There's two years to save, have your parents figure it out/get a loan. It's YOUR money.

**** that idea Sean. It's your money and you can let it do what you want. Tell them to take out a loan.

thats the thing, my mom doesn't want to get a loan for my sister wedding, cause she sees no reason too when i already have the money. :mad:

and yes, those were her exact words (in broken english)

and she told me not to mention it to my dad or sister. which i will be talking to my dad, cause last time i help out my family by paying off their 2nd morgage, he got pissed, cause he knew why i was saving up so much money.

and my sister can't find a job anywhere (she has a BA in commercial arts), cause everywhere she applies, they want at least 4 years experiance with a degree.

and her fiancee is saving up as much as he can, and his parents are helping out as well, though not as much as they should be.

lololol... i'd be telling my mom to **** off, as nicely as possible lol. they made her, they can pay for her **** haha

Looks like you know what to do and that's not help.

i just can't be mean to my own parents.

as much as i want to say "No, tell her to pay for her own wedding, i'll just buy a gift."

i know there will be repecutions afterwards if i tell them no. i am living in this house for free, and the only bills i'm paying are my own (cell, insurance, credit and car).

i do remeber my mom and dad argueing with each other before, cause my mom wanted me to start paying "rent" to help out, then my dad told her no.

i have no clue why, but my mom thinks we are dirt poor. My dad makes plenty of money, the only real big bill they got is the moragage. Even my dad has to keep telling my mom, " we got money."

sleeper... have you seen the 'peter chao' youtube videos? there's one on the subject of 'my mom is a bitch' that i just saw and your posts are totally making me think of it.
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVchQI1cKwM (nws for language)
another funny one from him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5b9gs5NKXA (nws for language)

Wow, your mom is putting you in a really difficult spot. I dont have any solutions or answers but that request is one of the many things that happens to immigrant families in the USA. Our parent or parents still have the old world mentality and traditions, they feel like requests such as your mom made, are just another fact of life. But growing up here in our culture we have a different set of values.

Sean, hopefully you find a way to keep yourself and family happy. Do you think that your sister knows about your mom's request? I can't imagine she would want the help if it was you pitching in versus something that your parents gave her if they had the money set aside for her.

you can't live in fear of your parents. you gifted them a **** load of money to help pay off another mortgage. that is more than i have ever done, monetarily, for my parents or ever will.

you should have a free ride for as long as you need to be there.

yeah, i've seen those before. it's not that my mom is a bitch, it's that she still belives in certian old asian cultures, like the first born son needs to help out the family in need, and that the daughter side of the family is supose to pay for the whole wedding(which isn't going to happen, but none the less, she thinks we, or me, needs to put in more then the groom side of the family)

ugh,

by the way troll, why won't you be my friend on FB? :lol:

Im all for tradition and values. but ****. that's a tad on the ridiculous side. 15k for you to shelf out of what you've saved? i'd tell your mom that you love her and your sister and all, but you can't do it.

15k is a lot to be asking... especially from someone that is in school. and you def shouldn't be selling any vehicles to be paying for her wedding.

i understand she's still following those old asian beliefs, but you need to talk to your sister. perhaps there is a resolution there... unless your sister is a ****, perhaps she can tell your mom that you gave them money to assist. in a case like this, it may be better to fib than to argue about it.... and it is certainly better than dropping 15k on your sister's wedding

This is why I'm so glad that my family doesn't hold tight to old traditions or religion. I don't have to deal with that crap. I would never give my brother $15k to have a wedding. I would tell him if you can't afford it he can't have it. Granted, my parents would probally fork the bill just for the fact they have money like that, but I wouldn't feel they are obligated, nor myself to help.

Also if they decide to put the wedding on credit, that is a huge NO-NO. Paying all that money for 1 day, I'd rather put a downpayment on a house or at the least have a nice hunnymoon.

There is a difference between helping someone out and giving them handouts. Plus in the end, you gotta take care of yourself before you go handing out money like that.

HATE TO SPOIL THE FUN!


but look at this :-p

http://www.tristatetuners.com/forum/...ad.php?t=93808

i know. i know my sister would tell me not to put that much money in. hell, i know she's not going for some super big wedding ordeal. hell, she's been figuring out how she can save money on everything aout the wedding, including her dress (she's been looking at cheap dresses)

but at the same time, i know she's struggling, and i know she's not sitting on her ass and doing nothing. last time i visited her, she had on her desk top resumes to over 20 differnt places she was sending them too.

going to talk to my dad first. i'm sure he can try to talk some sense into her.

Oh my

ehhhh... isn't this the party where her friend and the groom are renting rooms in a hotel for people to stay in?

lol... they can rent a whole floor for cheap probably.