"friend zone"...

[Elliott18t]

sooo, I figured I would ask here, since you guys seem good w/ the ladies ...


anyways; I always find myself getting into the the friendly only area with girls.. now, not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just not what I'm looking for. I'm generally just a pretty nice guy, but I'm pretty quiet too. I'm sure the quiet thing hurts alot, as I don't say much unless I feel I need to say something. However, I feel I've been getting better with this as I get older. I also seem to overanalyze (I think) things too..

So, what I guess I mean to ask is: How did you guys meet you BFs/GFs/wives/husbands/etc(obviously so girls can reply too)? What qualities do you find good? etc.

Thanks

please keep rude comments to yourself in this thread..

[97TurboDSM]

when i met my gf she was bein a wingman for her friend at my house. turned out well. being outgoing without being obnoxious really helps, other than that, just be yourself. no reason to mold yourself into something you think girls want. you'll know when you find the right one where it'll be more than just friends.

[Elliott18t]

Originally Posted by 97TurboDSM

when i met my gf she was bein a wingman for her friend at my house. turned out well. being outgoing without being obnoxious really helps, other than that, just be yourself. no reason to mold yourself into something you think girls want. you'll know when you find the right one where it'll be more than just friends.

yeah, no way im gonna mold. lol. Just wanted to see people thoughts, situations, etc. only thing I can think of changing is being more talkative/outgoing. I'm not really an obnoxious person though.

[1988 Olds]

I'm stuck in the same situation as you bro. Must talk to twenty girls who are "just friends."

[97TurboDSM]

i didnt mean you were. you know some people are outgoing and there are others that are over the top outgoing. just dont be afraid to smile and say hi to girls. they like that and it exudes confidence.

[DC2.2GSR]

Originally Posted by Elliott18t

anyways; I always find myself getting into the the friendly only area with girls.. now, not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just not what I'm looking for. I'm generally just a pretty nice guy, but I'm pretty quiet too. I'm sure the quiet thing hurts alot, as I don't say much unless I feel I need to say something. However, I feel I've been getting better with this as I get older. I also seem to overanalyze (I think) things too..

story of my life. that's me to the T. it pisses me off because i am not and will never be the stereotypical guy... obnoxious, sex obsessed, asshole who hooks up with lots of girls. but... seems that's what girls want. it's pretty ****ty.

[Elliott18t]

Originally Posted by 97TurboDSM

i didnt mean you were. you know some people are outgoing and there are others that are over the top outgoing. just dont be afraid to smile and say hi to girls. they like that and it exudes confidence.

Sorry, didnt mean to seem like I took offense.
hmm, That is definately a problem for me. I'm pretty shy person unless I know you, or I have somehow engaged in a conversation with you before. lol. Funny thing is, it's not a problem in the work enviroment (thank god).

[where'smyturbo?]

Originally Posted by DC2.2GSR

story of my life. that's me to the T. it pisses me off because i am not and will never be the stereotypical guy... obnoxious, sex obsessed, asshole who hooks up with lots of girls. but... seems that's what girls want. it's pretty ****ty.

That is not what all girls want... Maybe the immature girls who still don't know what they want out of life, or have no self worth.

Its hard to say what will attract a girl, because literally every one is different. Nothing irritates me more when a guy thinks being an asshole will make me "want" him.

Some girls like to be showered in compliments, while others see right through it and just want to slap the **** out of you. Some girls like abusive assholes because they are mentally deranged.

Like someone else said, just be yourself. If that isn't good enough for the person you're interested in, well they're not worth it anyway.

[KrautFed20V]

how old are you guys that you're really worried about it right now? honestly from my standpoint i would say enjoy time by yourself while you can.

[doug]

wow this thread speaketh the truth.

[agoodall]

If your uncomfortable being in the friend zone and you are looking for more be honest with the girl. Tell her that having her as a friend is great but you are looking for more if she is down you now have the start of what could be a relationship if she feels different then she probably wont be around much after that which will eliminate a good bit of the awkward rejection feelings you may have. Rather then "over analyze" situations just put yourself out there see what happens. Good luck

[Elliott18t]

Originally Posted by KrautFed20V

how old are you guys that you're really worried about it right now? honestly from my standpoint i would say enjoy time by yourself while you can.

im 23. I understand time by myself quite well.
its not really a thread of omgz i need GF naow. I was just thinking.

[KrautFed20V]

ah alright i'm with you on that... I always ended up with girls when i wasn't looking for them... which led me to trouble, and dating 3 girls at a time etc... haha but anyhow just be confident in yourself and it will happen.

[jjm4life]

i find whipping it out as soon as possible gets rid of that gray area that leads to the "friend zone". but thats just my experience. your results may vary

[agoodall]

Originally Posted by jjm4life

i find whipping it out as soon as possible gets rid of that gray area that leads to the "friend zone". but thats just my experience. your results may vary

I can not argue with that logic...flawless

[Scapegoat]

the biggest problem is you accepting the friend zone. there is nothing wrong with being friends with chicks, it leads to meeting other chicks. BUT if you're not interested in being friends with a chick make your feelings known. and i'm not talking about having a sit down and talking about your feelings like an emo homo.

ask them out on a date the first time you meet them. delaying that dumps you into the friend zone.

if you're already friends with a chick that you want to bang, pull away from the friendship and wait a few weeks/months. At this point your friendship really won't be one and you can be all like, "hey baby... we haven't seen each other in a while. lets go do blah blah blah together"

You really just have to put it out there that you are interested in them. If they say no then no biggy... you move on to the next.

Being more talkative helps too. I've noticed that when i go out and if i'm in a certain mood i won't be very talkative... in fact i probably look depressed because i'm chilling by myself while people are up and walking around and doing ****. no big deal, just be talkative to the people you do interact with, big smile and have fun.

Don't change who you are though b/c you think you'll get more pussy or whatever. Just work on a few things you seem to not like... you may be coming off as shy because you want to do something you're not comfortable enough to do. I have that issue in large groups myself unless i'm around my long time friends who know me as being a goof and saying stupid **** and flirting with girls.

this is longer than i expected... but i can say a lot on the subject cause i've been there. And while i'm not Rico Suave, i've learned a lot about my own personality and learned to be comfortable in whatever mood i'm in... whether its a talkative outgoing extroverted one or the opposite.

[DaBombDiggidy]

friend zone sucks, but honestly the best way to find out if a girl likes you is being blunt. let her know your not down for the friend zone or just stop talking to them and see if they come back. i refuse to keep girls as friends (besides a few iv grown up with), because always one side or another ends up liking someone and that whole situation is not worth anyones time.

but DONT leave the nice guy thing you will find someone just use it to your advantage to find the right (mature girl). easy way to start is telling a girl they looked great even if you are just hanging out with them. dont get obsessive with compliments just judge the reaction they feed off when you say them. theres a great chance one of them girls diggs ya brother and is just as shy as you are.

(if all else fails alcohol & the gym is your friend) not saying people need to lift to get girls, but lifting does release shyt in yo brain! that make people more happy and in the end the confidence works wonders.

[KrautFed20V]

Originally Posted by Scapegoat

the biggest problem is you accepting the friend zone. there is nothing wrong with being friends with chicks, it leads to meeting other chicks. BUT if you're not interested in being friends with a chick make your feelings known. and i'm not talking about having a sit down and talking about your feelings like an emo homo.

ask them out on a date the first time you meet them. delaying that dumps you into the friend zone.

if you're already friends with a chick that you want to bang, pull away from the friendship and wait a few weeks/months. At this point your friendship really won't be one and you can be all like, "hey baby... we haven't seen each other in a while. lets go do blah blah blah together"

You really just have to put it out there that you are interested in them. If they say no then no biggy... you move on to the next.

Being more talkative helps too. I've noticed that when i go out and if i'm in a certain mood i won't be very talkative... in fact i probably look depressed because i'm chilling by myself while people are up and walking around and doing ****. no big deal, just be talkative to the people you do interact with, big smile and have fun.

Don't change who you are though b/c you think you'll get more pussy or whatever. Just work on a few things you seem to not like... you may be coming off as shy because you want to do something you're not comfortable enough to do. I have that issue in large groups myself unless i'm around my long time friends who know me as being a goof and saying stupid **** and flirting with girls.

this is longer than i expected... but i can say a lot on the subject cause i've been there. And while i'm not Rico Suave, i've learned a lot about my own personality and learned to be comfortable in whatever mood i'm in... whether its a talkative outgoing extroverted one or the opposite.

pfft ken i remember seeing you at the KT you nutball.

[jjm4life]

have you tried the services of a prostitute. you know just the the your game up.. even a quick rub n tug might help. i dont know where im headed with this.

[Scapegoat]

Originally Posted by KrautFed20V

pfft ken i remember seeing you at the KT you nutball.

Huh??