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Old 06-28-2008, 04:37 PM   #1
Erik
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lending money....

...to my own mother has never been so stressful. I have been working since the day i turned 16. Im just about to turn 19 and have made enough money to buy two cars now. My mother isnt the most financially stable person. She has a pretty tough problem with spending cash. around a year ago, she gambled a **** load of cash away and needed to replace atleast SOME in the bank. she came to me asking for 800 bucks. After convincing me it was to pay for bills, i caved in and handed over 800 out of the 1200 i had saved for another car. After promising me back the money over the next for weeks, i havent received a dime. That is when i found out she gambled it.

Since then, she has occasionally asked me for money, a few 100 bucks here and there and i have helped. Only a few times she has actually returned the cash. She always used the excuse that she was paying MY bills with the money. I believed her but found out after having a ridiculous car insurance bill and a cancelled phone service.

well, i finally told her off and told her to stop using me as a personal ATM. I brought her to reality when she, in the end, robbed me of 2200 dollars. She did buy me the iMac i am using right now, so i waived the debt.

Just last week, she asked for 100 bucks on wednesday. I handed it over to her after promising me it the next day. Once again, i did not get it. the following week, she sprung the dogs' grooming bill on me ($120) after telling me i need to pick them up. Just today, she asked for another 300 cuz my stepdad is flipping out for missing funds. I dont know how they are missing, but she came to me again. she said she will get it back to me on the life of her by next thursday. My stepdad has a history of abuse so i do not want my mom choked again and another domestic dispute case between him and i to occur. Although i feel like i did the right thing, im afraid i just dicked myself over another 500 bucks. What does everyone else think? is it worth helping her out? i mean she is my mom....ugh.

/rant
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Old 06-28-2008, 04:50 PM   #2
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dude i know how you feel my mom owes me almost 600. she is always asking for money. yea its your mom and everything but she has to realize that you work hard for your money and that you need it. i told my mom that im not her personal bank anymore and she hasnt ask for money since.
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Old 06-28-2008, 04:55 PM   #3
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my parents are facing bankruptcy soon and are having some issues putting food on the table. They haven't asked for a dime from me. Your mom has a problem, and so do you... you're giving your mom money to gamble, or she feels she can gamble and will get the money back from you...

do you live at home? if so... bounce... I know its hard, but your parents need to fend for themselves... they're adults, they made their own problems, they have to deal with them
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:02 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Scapegoat View Post
my parents are facing bankruptcy soon and are having some issues putting food on the table. They haven't asked for a dime from me. Your mom has a problem, and so do you... you're giving your mom money to gamble, or she feels she can gamble and will get the money back from you...

do you live at home? if so... bounce... I know its hard, but your parents need to fend for themselves... they're adults, they made their own problems, they have to deal with them
Yea, i know she doesnt gamble with it ALL the time. She works as a secretary for a company that creates the locks for slot machines across the country. She works right around philly park and gets free play time. so when she feels lucky i think she asks me. I know its a problem and i know im kind of urging it...i just cant tell when shes actually using it for necessaties. I dont wanna just walk away because i have 2 younger sisters that are 15. I pay for the groceries sometimes because i dont pay rent yet. The only problem is that i pull about ~300 a week with my job and im still in school.
EDIT: to make things more interesting, my rents are facing bankruptcy as well as a divorce

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dude i know how you feel my mom owes me almost 600. she is always asking for money. yea its your mom and everything but she has to realize that you work hard for your money and that you need it. i told my mom that im not her personal bank anymore and she hasnt ask for money since.
Yea man, thats my exact situation except she keeps asking for another slice of the pie!
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:07 PM   #5
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your mom is a grownup dont give her anything...i hate when parents are the ones acting like children. it sucks because shes your mom but she will be fine without lending her money all the time. you need to look out for number one because in the end thats all you have to count on, dont sell yourself short.
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:40 PM   #6
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your mom is a grownup dont give her anything...i hate when parents are the ones acting like children. it sucks because shes your mom but she will be fine without lending her money all the time. you need to look out for number one because in the end thats all you have to count on, dont sell yourself short.
troof

my dad would complain about money all the time but bought his EX GF a new explorer and some dumb ring and an expensive fur coat and HER kids a new computer...i cringe when i see him trying to buy love
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Old 06-28-2008, 07:43 PM   #7
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...i cringe when i see him trying to buy love
That's a double negative.

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Old 06-28-2008, 07:50 PM   #8
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My mom and step dad owe me around $18,000, my real father owes me around $8,000 and my uncle owes me about $1,700. My parents paid me back around $8,000 and my dad about $3,000...my uncle hasn't paid me back any yet. Mind you this was about 2 years ago. I'm still out over 10 grand and could really use the money at this time. You might as well chalk it up as gone dude. Family is the worst when it comes to lending out money. I guess thats what we get for being good people.
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:32 PM   #9
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from now on, i would make her sign a piece of paper stating you were LOANING her the money and that she will pay you back by a certain date. as long as you have paperwork with both parties signatures on it, you have a legal case (god forbid it ever gets to that point) but it'll help you also figure out total amounts
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:51 PM   #10
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forget the contract... tell her she's cut off.
if she's that tight financially then take care of yourself financially... offer to pay some rent if you want or try to buy groceries more regularly, just so you're carrying your own weight. but i would not let her borrow any more money the way she has.
you've got to get things back on track... you're feeding the problem so its time to make some changes.
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Old 06-28-2008, 08:56 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff822 View Post
My mom and step dad owe me around $18,000, my real father owes me around $8,000 and my uncle owes me about $1,700. My parents paid me back around $8,000 and my dad about $3,000...my uncle hasn't paid me back any yet. Mind you this was about 2 years ago. I'm still out over 10 grand and could really use the money at this time. You might as well chalk it up as gone dude. Family is the worst when it comes to lending out money. I guess thats what we get for being good people.

how the hell did u get in that mess? 18 grand? dont u think they should of got a loan? and if they didnt have credit i would of turned them down like anyone else
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:12 PM   #12
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from now on, i would make her sign a piece of paper stating you were LOANING her the money and that she will pay you back by a certain date. as long as you have paperwork with both parties signatures on it, you have a legal case (god forbid it ever gets to that point) but it'll help you also figure out total amounts
you can't do that with parents...

or family really... you either "loan" them the money and expect never to see it again or don't loan them a cent.
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Old 06-29-2008, 03:27 AM   #13
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Ya it may be your mom but are you an asshole, I am not tryin to sound like a dick but its like sayin my family member is an alcoholic, I'm tryin to stop them but I buy em a case of beer everyday. You are feeding your moms disease its really nobodys fault but yours she takes advantage of you mom or not. Maybe you need to pay for her counceling instead of feed her problem
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Old 06-29-2008, 06:14 AM   #14
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how about instead of just giving her the money find out what its for. If it's for a bill or to get groceries then offer to take care of it yourself tat way you know where the money is going otherwise tell her your broke. Thats the only way to do it. I know from experience you can't just say no to your parents their has to be a legitimate reason then they'll leave you alone lol. Or just tell them you spent it or something came up, or your car broke and you needed the money for a part. idk something
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Old 06-29-2008, 02:07 PM   #15
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im with twisted. If you want to help out then find out what the money is REALLY for, if its for a bill that you feel you want to pay then write the check straight to whoever is billing you. That way you dont have to worry about her using it for other ****.
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Old 06-29-2008, 03:02 PM   #16
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Old 06-29-2008, 05:56 PM   #17
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well. the last 300 was my step dad being a cock. he demanded 300 dollars to see if there was money in an account that has been dry and i think shut down. The thing is, this happened before and like i said, it became a legal dispute between him and i. He tried to take a swing and i just so happened to be cleaning up glass that broke and well...his cheek then was able to flap around.........
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