The Drunk Funnies Thread "Real Official Sheet*

[TGilb2007]

Originally Posted by den9

i lolled

Believe me, the whole house did for about 3 days, minus the kid who this happened too.

[igo4bmx]

Originally Posted by den9

how much did u make that night charging people for cover? your pretty crazy man

$5 bucks cuz I didn't want them to complain

[den9]

i mean how much money did u make total lol, im sure u drank for free that night. i guess if the bar owner said something u can just tell him you were doing a good thing by keeping underage kids out, and working for 300 bucks an hour

[mrchariybrown]

I have plenty of stories but I'll just give my most recent one..

happened last friday..

we're all drunk having a smoke out in front of a bar me and my friends were at..

you guys know how big center city sidewalks are, right?

okay.

some fat black guy comes walking along with two girls..

he approaches our group and yells out

"what the f*ck are you doing? get the **** out of my way"

me: the f*ck? there's plenty of room

friend: yeah, you serious

fbg: yeah I'm serious.. don't make me ask you again

*one of our friends kind of stepped to the side*

*two girls escorted the fbg around us*

me: oh, there's 20 feet for you to get your fat ass around

fbg: what n*gga, you want to bang with me? you want to bang?

friend: no you f*g

me: no no wait! YES I WANT TO BANG WITH YOU! you want to suck my d*ck first?

*everyone watches and laughs as the fbg tries to turn around but has his two girls holding him back*

the end.

[Eclipse GSX 61]

^ Hahahaha

Black people are so ignant. Period.

[mrchariybrown]

Originally Posted by Eclipse GSX 61

^ Hahahaha

Black people are so ignant. Period.

although I'm glad you found my story funny.. I can't say I agree with that..

he was ignorant.

[lownslow95]

I was at DropTopChevy's bothers house in Philly. It was him and his girlfriend at the time. She starts making orange juice and vodka, mostly vodka. They were in like regular 20 oz beer cups and after about 5 of them there was no vodka left. So we then just resorted to drinking beer. That was a mistake. I had about 10 of them in an hour and then thats when I lost it. I run up a flight of stairs and sit on the toilet with my head in a sink passed out. Then it starts to come up. I start puking up what I ate for dinner that night and it wasn't pretty. Nick then comes up stairs and he starts throwing up. He saying your the ****in man. I'm like shut the **** up!!!! So then I go back down stairs and pass out after a few more beers. I feel the need to throw up again, and I coudn't make it up the stairs. So I'm looking around and there is a trash can in the middle of the room. I'm still lying on the couch, grab it and still sleeping, puke in the garbage can. Great ****in night.

The other time I was at my buddy Steves house. I'm drinking, having a good time. Then his brother randomly gets up and goes out side. I was going to smoke, and then I hear him walk over to the corner of the fence. A good 10 seconds later, I hear this loud noise out side. I get up, and Nick was there to, and there he was lying on the ground in his own piss. Nick picks him up, and we found out that while he was taking a piss, he fell and hit his head on the house. He was ****in' wasted that night.

Thats all I got.

[Oakes]

Well, my most recent one i was at a buddies house wasted....couldnt give you the inbetween details but..

Woke up on the sidewalk outside his house with my ex-girlfriend and her friend walking over me, first thing i could remember thinking "It's cold"

Then i apparently was trying to fight someone in california as my buddy drove me home in my car, so i was told.

[den9]

Originally Posted by lownslow95

I run up a flight of stairs and sit on the toilet with my head in a sink passed out. Then it starts to come up. I start puking up what I ate for dinner that night and it wasn't pretty. Nick then comes up stairs and he starts throwing up. He saying your the ****in man. I'm like shut the **** up!!!!

nick cant handle alcohol if his life depended on it

[den9]

im waiting for that mexican to post about the time he woke up on a sidewalk in north philly and some big puerto rican guy was videotaping him, someone find him and show him this thread

[EKLIPZGSX97]

Josh, why do you constantly " Open Mouth, Insert Foot"?

You're gonna get yourself in trouble man, seriously...

[bmatyeah]

i sing songs. bmat blues. and my voice hurts the next day

[Eclipse GSX 61]

Originally Posted by EKLIPZGSX97

Josh, why do you constantly " Open Mouth, Insert Foot"?

You're gonna get yourself in trouble man, seriously...

Because I can. It's a forum. It's not like you haven't heard its only the internet.

[The Captain]

I've gotten with 2 of my 4 roommates younger sisters.

Been kicked out of a bar for "discussing the future administration of pain" on some dude who was right next to us because his gf was hot.

Getting black out drunk by 11pm in center city off of $10 margarita pitchers and waking up around 3am on my friend's toilet taking a ****. Apparently i had been "pooping" for an hour.

Standing in line, paying, at Old Nelson's in center city and talking to my friend about the asian cashier
Discussion
Friend: (semi quiet) The cashier is pretty cute
me: (loud as ****) "Yeah shes got a pretty cute body...
-cashier smiles at me
...but her face is ****ed up."

Numerous stories of beer goggles gone terribly wrong, won't get into those.

and on and on and on

[den9]

come on lets here the beer goggle stories!

[BlackTalon95]

I'm interested in the beer goggle stories too, those are always the best when they didn't happen to you.