a killed story from another forum

[97eclipse]

thought it was pretty funny.

Ok I know you guys are probably thinking that it's impossible for a little DSM to beat the echelon of Dodge engineering, but I did beat a Viper. Here's the story and don't miss anything because it's very important.

So yesterday I was out cruising around in my DSM. It's a 1.8 non-turbo, but I've converted it to turbo. Well kind of. I'm running dual Tornado's. Yeah that's right, I'm boosted bitches. I also have reverse indiglo gauges and 43mm spark plug wires, and of course a Caterpillar mechanical fuel pump to support all that psi.

Anyway, I'm just getting back into my car, but before I get in I notice that my Invader body kit is coming apart where I JB welded it to my car. I get some duct tape out of my glove box (hey, if you can't duct it, **** it) and repair my stallion. It's a good thing I stopped to fix my car because that delayed me long enough that as I pulled out onto the road I was neck and neck with a Viper!

The rider was an old grey haired man that looked about 95, but I know it was really some young punk in a skin suit. The stop light was red and the tension was thick. He knew I had a hot **** import racing machine and the decals on his machine didn't lie. It said Viper Turbo RS200 right on the side of the scooter he was on. I didn't know they put the V10 in old people's disability carts, but I figured it was their way of getting around insurance premiums.

He looked at me and drooled out the side of his mouth. I chalked that up to his nerves as we both knew the race of the century was almost upon us. The light turned green and it was like a slow motion take off or something. I nailed 2nd with my Tornado's screaming. He adjusted his vitamins in his basket of the cart, but I knew he had a hidden nawz switch in there. Luckily I was out of gear, so I just slammed 3rd and held on. Somehow he was right beside me on the sidewalk.

At this point I knew I had to win. I knew my car could beat any Viper around, so I went for my secret weapon. I have an electronic BOV sound machine and also a speed chip I bought from Ebay. I pushed the button and the woooosh filled the air. At this point I downshifted back to 2nd because I couldn't pull all the way through 3rd, but he had seen enough and decided to back off. In utter defeat he dismounted and pressed the crosswalk button.

I pulled over next to him and asked him what he had in that thing. He told me that he had a full V-Tak swap with 2jz internals and polished whistle tips. I then popped my hood and he laughed and peed a little, but again, that was probably because his nerves were wearing off. God I love having a DSM. They're soooo fazzt.