NJ's Chat Thwead: The Most Rad People, From the Least Rad State

[Sal]

Originally Posted by thefro526

Sal,

Explain your signature to me.

It all starts out with a high school crush of a boy named Matty Mara aka Rickety Cricket. During high school he had such a crush on a girl that she told him she would kiss him if he ate some horse ****. So he did, and she ended up not kissing him because his breath smelled like ****. Flash forward about 10 years or so and these two meet again, except now Matty Mara is a priest. Long story short she tries to get him to bless a water stain that looks like the holy Mary, and he wont. This causes the girl to begin to think that she cant get him to do anything he wants for her anymore so she tells him shes loves him and to leave the priesthood for her so they can get married. So he does, and she rejects him, so he tea bags her brother. A few months later, this same girl needed to sell cocaine to pay back the mafia and runs into Rickety Cricket, who is now homeless. She eventually gets him to sell her drugs for her, and he ends up doing this so fast that she decides to have him sell another batch for some extra cash. He doesn't want to until she forces him to take some of the cocaine shes selling by rubbing it in gums. So later in the day she goes looking for Rickety Cricket and ends up finding him playing two trash cans as drums on some street corner. Apparently he sold the drugs as well as doing a good amount to himself, took the money from selling the drugs and bought some sweet ass kettle drums (aka trash cans) and began writing his own musical about the arc angel coming to earth to fight crime. And as he was finishing up the seventh act he stated "You guys, you gotta keep it sexy. Hips and nips, otherwise I'm not eating". Then the girl and her friends blamed him to force himself on the mob bosses wife, so the mob took him and broke his legs.