Did I do the right thing? (girls chime in)

[240sxDann]

So this is a kind of long story, I'll try to condense it as much as possible.

History:
Met a girl when I was about 12, we became good friends. Long story short, we dated for about 3 years on and off. She was, still to this day, my longest relationship and top 2 most serious. (keep in mind we weren't dating when we were 12 lol it was from like 15-18 years old. I'm 21 now) I know you'll say you were young it wasn't that serious etc, well ok you can think that if you'd like. We ended up breaking up a last time and stopped talking for quite some time. Fast forward to about 2 months ago.

Now:
So we ended up getting back in contact, like I said about 2 months ago or so. We started talking and all was dandy, I was happy just being friends with her again. We hung out a few times. That's when the problem started. I completely fell for her again. Keep in mind, she now has a 7 month old (which I'm completely ok with, shes adorable and loves me) and a bf. The problem is that the bf is not currently in the picture...but she is still with him. We'll leave it at that. (he may not be in the picture for a long time...) Well we hung out more and more, I helped her and her mom and brother move, and I started hanging out with her more. (like at least once a week) I was really feelin it now, I wanted her back. I ended up spillin my guts to her, and long story short she said it's just not gonna happen. Ok, was fine for a few weeks, until like last week. It really started getting to me, and I got really depressed about the whole situation. She is not in a real good spot in life right now, and has a lot goin on. Well I finally decided with the help of a friend (you know who you are, thank you) that I needed to cut my losses, because I wasn't gonna get over her until I wasn't in contact with her anymore. So today I told her straight up I can't talk to you anymore, at least not now, not until I get myself over you and past all of this. She was already having a bad day (which I wasn't aware of cuz I hadn't talked to her all day) and she kinda freaked a little bit. Now I feel like I made a mistake cutting ties with her, ending a friendship with someone I've known for so long and care about so much. But at the same time, I really don't think I'll get over her, until I can just forget about her. So, do you think I did the right thing? Or should I have just manned up and been her friend and watch the girl I love wait for another guy? She was honestly the one that got away. I compared every gf and relationship to her since then. Seriously, it's unhealthy how much I missed her.

Cliff notes:
Dated girl for about 3 years from age 15 to age 18
Broke up stopped talking for a long time
Started talking again about 2 months ago (she has a daughter and a bf who is not around, but she is still with him. He may not be around for a long time)
Fell for her again, wanted her back
I told her how I felt, she said it is never gonna happen again
Accepted that until recently
Got depressed about it
Told her I can't talk to her anymore until I get over her
Began second guessing decision on not talking to her
Made this thread

[c0nfl1kt]

Dan, I want your bushy beard.

[lagos]

Dude I dealt with the same thing. Girl I've known for over 10yrs. So take the advice I am about to give you....

RUN. Run now. Run fast. Run far!
They are master manipulators and will string you along for the next 10yrs if you let them. ****em and move on cause its not worth waking up with that empty feeling every morning.

My only regret is that I cant time travel and tell myself this advice 10yrs ago.

[240sxDann]

Originally Posted by lagos

Dude I dealt with the same thing. Girl I've known for over 10yrs. So take the advice I am about to give you....

RUN. Run now. Run fast. Run far!
They are master manipulators and will string you along for the next 10yrs if you let them. ****em and move on cause its not worth waking up with that empty feeling every morning.

She's not stringing me along, she straight up told me, it's not gonna happen. I just feel like maybe I shoulda manned up and stayed just friends with her to support her as a friend.

[240sxDann]

Originally Posted by c0nfl1kt

Dan, I want your bushy beard.

The bushy beard is no more. I shaved. Just have the beard on the chin left which is pretty long lol.

[lagos]

Originally Posted by 240sxDann

She's not stringing me along, she straight up told me, it's not gonna happen. I just feel like maybe I shoulda manned up and stayed just friends with her to support her as a friend.

She stringing you along because she wants you to be around to support her. Im dealing with the same exact thing.

[DPancoast]

I think you did because eventually you'll get over it hopefully.

I mean if you told her how you felt and then instead of telling her you didnt want to talk to her, you tried to make it work... I think in the long run you would have tore you up twice as bad as if you did it the way you described. (wow... I hope that made sense...)

The first step to overcoming her is not talking to her.. you took the step.

Being depressed about it is normal if it JUST happened. Just find something to distract you from her and you'll get through it man. I mean, its not like she tries to talk to you against your own will (right?) so you wont have to avoid her. Just have to push it out of your mind.

[den9]

Originally Posted by c0nfl1kt

Dan, I want your bushy beard.

i was thinkin this before i even clicked the link. if you had the beard she would probably fall for you.

[shuttlegoose]

whatever you do don't talk to her for a very long time and start going out to look for new girls. I went through a similar thing and its real dumb. You will feel better once you meet someone else but you need to get out there and try.

[Honest_Bob]

You did the right thing.

[importpower99]

You did good! Now, comes the hard part....Don't look back!

[mcperson2k]

Yeah. You know whats right, now the hardest part is following through. Don't talk to her, and if shes one of those girls that will get upset and call you in the middle of the night, tell her not to beforehand. Not only does this **** with you emotionally, but it takes valuable time away from meeting other girls.

[CleanNeon98]

I need pix to make a decision LOL

[Got Insulin?]

There's a thousand fish in the sea, bud; she said it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen. Don't lament, just keep looking for the latest and the greatest, and eventually, the one that will meet you in the middle will fall into your lap.




Face first.

[nhanxsolo]

This thread is useless without pics.

[2001teg]

I have the same problem you do my man. To a T minus the baby part. I wake up every morning with that empty feeling, and its REALLY getting to me now that it is the holidays. I'v been super depressed/bummed.

[lagos]

Originally Posted by mcperson2k

Yeah. You know whats right, now the hardest part is following through. Don't talk to her, and if shes one of those girls that will get upset and call you in the middle of the night, tell her not to beforehand. Not only does this **** with you emotionally, but it takes valuable time away from meeting other girls.

x1000
I think the just love the idea of multiple guys being interested in them at all times, and don't give a **** about how it affects other people.

[Kir Diesel]

Dont talk to her anymore... You need to get ur head straight and move on..

I refuse to talk to my ex either because it ****s with my mind. Its the best way to move forward with life bro.. Dont waste another second on this.

[Erik]

yea brah, youre making the right decision. I confessed to a chick recently and she cant give me a straight up answer. i said peace, and now only talk to her when she contacts me, but i keep it short. You are stepping in the right direction. You and her had your run and now its done with. Let it go bud, plenty more out there for ya.

[grmreapr]

You def did the right thing, (If she may have said I feel the same way about you) well that's a diff story but she didn't so cut your ties and don't look back. It may suck but you will eventually not think about her.