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03-04-2007, 03:56 AM
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Tri-State Training Wheels
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You know your a DSMer if....
You know you're a DSMer if.... 1= If you've ever had to explain crankwalk to a mechanic.... 2=If you have a garage full of spare engines, just in case.... 3=If you've tried to bolt your old 14b onto a riding lawnmower.... 4=If you've hit your head on the B-pillar during an AWD launch.... 5=If you have a running tab at the local tranny shop.... 6=If you go rallying in your daily driver.... 7=If your driveway has divets in it cause your car never moves.... 8=If you have a trophy case full of Honda and Mustang emblems... 9=If you eat "rice" for dinner.... 10=If people recognize your car by the sound of it's lifter tick.... 11= If you drive 5 extra blocks for a gas station that has 1 more octane point. 12=If you get refused on your tread wear warranty every time you have tried, because of poor alignment. 13=If you bought half of your performance parts at Home Depot. 14=If every time you beat up a V8, they tell you that something was wrong with their car. 15=If you find yourself hanging with bikes out of the hole. 16=If people ask you what's wrong with your car because it keeps making this noise. 17=If your freinds get beat in a race and call you immediately after to rematch for them. 18 = You have had to send a tow truck back to the towing garage because you needed a flat-bed. 19 = You always request parts for an Eclipse because the parts stores always lookup the AMC Eagle. 20 = You drop whatever you are doing when the UPS man brings a new part for the car. And then spend the rest of the day installing it. 21= You only carry a Palm Pilot to log your engine's data. 22 = You change your tires, plugs and fuel curves for the winter. 23 = You know more about the 4G63 engine than some engineers at Mitsubishi. 24 = Your wife/girlfriend wishes your car never exsisted. 25=Your wife/girlfriend wishes DSMtalk never exsisted.... 26- if you think your dsm should have come with a flatbed/tow truck following you from the factory. 27. If its one of the few imports a big fat farm kid can work on. 28=your car spends more time being broken than being driven 29=you dont let people drive your car into the bays because its "quirky" 30=you spent more fixing it than it cost #31 -your eye automatically catches EVERY dsm that drives by on the highway #32 your out driving/fixing in the winter more then you EVER wanted to be. #33 (referring to 31) if it's a 2g non spyder, you quickly check to see if it has stock dual pipes. then turn back to see you are swerving off the road #34 before racing someone, you 90% of the time know their engine, hp, and performance specs. and you usually know if you will win or not #35 right before u start modding, some damn matainence thing breaks down (i.e. alternator, starter) #36 u barely have money for fun time (teenagers) #37 u wake up in the morning look out the window and go "ahhh, what a nice car" / you wake up and see your damn broken car and curse up a storm #38 you look at riced out civics and roll your eyes #39 - right after you get your paycheck, you get online and spend it all on parts the same day. 40 = Every tire shop/parking garage/car wash/repair shop guy stalls out when he lets out your ACT 2600 clutch. 41 = Every car with an alarm triggers in parking garages as to say "hello". 42 = Your exhaust note is so deep and unique that people expect you to pass by 1/4 mile before you get there. 43 = You wonder where all your money goes. 39- when you go to fix something minor you ALWAYS expect a major hassle and something else is GOING to go wrong. 40- dsmtalk.com is the best website to visit. no correction -THE ONLY WEBSITE TO VISIT!- 41=If your on a diet because you ran out of weight reductions for your car... 42=If a junk yard to you is an upgrade yard..... 43=If your car consists of parts from more than 10 other DSMs..... 44=If you always have to show your car in a garage..... 45=If you take offense to the word Riceburner..... 46=If you have a stick in your car, that's job is to prop up the hatch..... 47=If your pasanger window takes more that five minutes to get all the way up. 48=If you never put more than a quarter tank of gas in your car..... 49=If your DSM is the most unreliable car you have ever owned, but still your favorite...... 50- the letters d-s-m-t-a-l-k on your keyboard are so worn off your keys on your keyboard that you can hardly make them out anymore. 51 - The UPS guy comes over for a beer on a regular basis 52 - Your bucket of extra parts pulls 60 bucks on eBay 53 - Paypal.com sends you christmas cards 54 = An average oil change involves fresh oil, new filter and draining the catch can. 55 = The pages of your shop manual have more wear than the tires on your car. 56 = You know the meaning of VFAQ. 57 = Some people would like to go to Europe, you'd like to visit Normal IL. 58- You get in alot of races because your car "auto-revs" for you. 59- You've custom fabricated a carbon fiber cup holder 60- You've almost been strangled to death by the automatic seat belt. 61- You can launch your oil dip stick 20ft. 62- You know that your car has a built in toolbox under the hood.... 63- If a honda owner ever looked at you funny when you say "free mods" 64) You have a bucket full of nuts and bolts and your car seems to run fine and you can't figure out where the heck they go. # 66 you carry ahydraulic jack with in your car at all times # 67 when being towed you have to lift the front end of the car with your hands so the intercooler clears. 68- people call your car "valdez" after the oil tanker. 69- When the flatbed finally comes, you ask the tow guy for a piece of wood to put under your right rear tire (or left, if it's a 2G) so you don't scratch your muffler 70- If your AWD is equipped with automatic windshield wipers enabling system after every hard launch... (1G) 71- If everytime you launch, you can't see the damn road all the way through 1st gear (AWD) 72- Your headliner that's falling off combs your hair every morning (1G) 73- You hear a different vibration inside your car for different RPM points (1G) 73- You are afraid to grab your Crank Pulley and check for play (2G 7-bolt) 76 - you have watched 3 passengers break their glasses on the idiot belts 77 - when people say "is your car running again?" you say "kinda" 78 - every time you work on your car you end up with more bolts than you started with 79 - you have a laptop with a datalogger and manual CD on it in your car at all times 80 - you have ever explained "fuel cut" to a scared female passenger 81 - people that can "drive stick" stall your car out 5 times before they get it out of the driveway 82. people think you are just revving your car in neutral when in fact it is 1st gear (fwd dsmers) 83. you have gotten in many arguements on how "your car CAN't be THAT fast". it is a friggin 4 cylinder mitsubishi!!! 84. you have to explain to a mechanic of 35+ years what "boost creep" is. 85. if you slam 2nd hard enough your wipers turn on 86. you buy a k&n filter and call it an "intake" 87. you thought you blew up your dsm but in fact the dipstick popped out and sprayed oul all over the manifold causing massive smoke ( come on, we all freaked out a little the 1st time the dipstick blew out) 88. when someone asks you how the car is running you never say "awesome" or "great", just "its running" 82 - you hate the "hump" (1G AWD) 83 - your friend with a 5.0 says "at least my car is reliable" 84 - a normal weekend involves removing your transmission 5 times. 85 - you work all week so you can fix your dsm on weekends 86 - your friends think "phantom knock" is some sort of ghost movie 87. If you drive your car for 10 minutes, park if for 2 hours, come back out...it only takes 2 minutes to have the heat full blastin again. 88. You hear non-informed DSM'ers saying that chrysler over-all as a company sucks..and you have to reinform them that they are downing their own car. 89. After racing the honda boys with their "pimped" out cars you have to pop your hood for them to belive your cars almost completely stock (in my case) 91. You are completely dumbfounded when people say that eclipses and talons are hot but lasers are slow? 92. your mom claims a 4500 rpm launch "throws her back out" 93.- When over the school's intercom you hear "Excuse me but the white mitsubishi eclipse is still running." 94. When you get asked at least once a week if 'That Hump' is supposed to be on your hood. 95. Your friends with the tow company and they stop by every weekend to see what the new "project" is this weekend. 96. You dance every morning when your car cranks over. 97. when you ask your friend with a tow truck to tow your car every other day... 98. your "grocery getter" is a 12 sec car... lol 99. You have the shop mannuel memorized 100. The local shop calls you to ask a question about a broken eclipse they have in there shop. 101. when people driveur car...and ask-whats that noise...you always reply with-which one 102. people driving ## car for the first time...get a new understanding forthe word torque steer -(fwd) 103. You drive all around town, aimlessly, when it's running "right". 104. Every time you scrape the front bumper, you and everyone else in the car feel the pain. 105. You wake up in the middle of the night, stumble to the computer and subconsiously type in DSMTALK DOT COM !!!! 106- everytime billy badass mustang driver says "buy a domestic" you scream at the top of your lungs "IT IS A ####ING DOMESTIC YOU DUMB ****!" 107=If you can navigate at night with our 2 candle powered headlights....... 108=If at one point you could punch the gas and get the spy-hunter smoke screen....... 109=If you avoid car conversations with new people, so you don't have to start from scratch....... 110=If your stock boost gauge reads 9 but you know it means 19...... 111=If you tell people you have a two seater so that you don't have to watch them suffer in the back seats..... 112=If you need to call someone to fetch your spare when you get a flat........ 113=If you have ever lit a cigarette off the exhaust manifold...... 114=If you have attemted sex in your car once, and vowed never to do it again. 115. people who first drive your car and launches at 4500 and ask "why wont this thing burn out?!?!" (awd) 118. Youve uttered the words, "Officer I dont think i was going that fast." 119. You've had to explain how your turbo timer works to your mechanic. 120. You show up at a friends house and their mom asks you why your car sounds like a truck. 121. You always give your shop manual to the mechanic when bringing your car in for work. 126. You always tell the person that is crammed in the backseat to watch their head when you hit a bump. 127. You get spanked by a supercharged Mustang and he tells you that out of all imports he's raced you hung the best, and that he doesn't even waste time on the "other" imports anymore. 128. Your first investment for your car should have been a lift. 129. Your car won't start when the temperature gets below zero. 130. Your girlfriend knows what DSM stands for. 131. Your girlfriend laughs her ass off when she's riding with you and a Honduh revs on you. 132. Your car was faster 2 years ago than all your friend's cars are now. 140=Youve explained what "DSM" means so many times, you have the speech memorised 141=If your girlfreind prays that a contender doesn't stop at the light next to you..... 142=If you still put down 13 second track times in the rain....... 143=If every time you wrench you find more stuff that your car doesn't need....... 144=If you try to race a random car and realize you just raced him last week....... 145=If you think the the 3G is the STUPIDEST idea ever...... 146=If you have had to remove your radiator fans, because they just don't fit in front of that Turbo....... 147=If you capitalize the word Turbo as if it's a name...... 151=When at the strip you sit around with the Z28s and WS6 guys and talk **** about hondas. 152. When several people have nicknamed your car the "dumptruck" becuase of the replica exhaust note. 153. When you spool right next to a kid with his window down and wwhHAA-- PSHSHhhh, blow off and break the poor kids neck, just becuse it's funny. 154. When you're dad gets scared when you order more parts--becuase he drives a 350 small block with 410 gears. 156. The 10mm and 12mm sockets are the dirtiest in the set. 157. You lose more 10mm and 12mm sockets in a month than most people do in 3 years. 158 = When the guy you are racing puts up his window in the middle of the race when you hit full boost. 159 = The black deposits on the rear bumper are now "part of the paint" 160 = You get scared if, when launching, you don't hear a series of loud thumps coming from under the car. 161 = You get worried if you STOP smelling fuel/oil/exhaust while driving. 162. Your mind starts to race when your CEL goes off. 163. You think the hump 'adds character' 164. When something on the car breaks, you spend hours on the internet researching a better, faster, and cheaper part 165. You have almost rear-ended too many people to count because you were trying to see if that was a gs-t or a gs etc. 168=If on more than one occasion an old guy in a Vette has said "what the hell do you have in there"? 169=If you buy a Super Sized drink, because you have a place to put it 170=If you price out performance parts that you can't afford to buy 171=If you get a sick feeling in your stomach every time someone tries to BS a track time 172=If you own stock in an octane booster company 173=If you have over boosted without consideration of the cosequenses, just to see what she does 174=If you though you invented something, then later found a thread describing the same thing on DSMtalk 175=If you have a favorite stop light 176=If you drive around the puddles to stage 177=If you PORT on Friday night, while your freinds are out drnking 178=If you took your car to a shop that you didn't know, they would definately fail the inspection. 179=If your exhaust could out flow sewer pipes 180=If the first thing your passenger asks is "whats that smell"
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Love the Family "Lowcal Customs" |
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03-04-2007, 10:16 AM
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#2 | |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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Ha ha, good stuff.
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03-04-2007, 02:23 PM
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#6 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Newtown, PA
Member #1631
My Ride: contributes towards Global warming iTrader: (0)
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so how many have to apply to you to be considered a DSMer
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TurboTagTeam is my crew chief 1996 Nissan 240sx- To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. 2010 Dodge Ram 2500 6.7L Turbo Diesel 2008 Audi RS4- 420 HP 4.2L V8 2004 Honda CBR600RR |
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03-04-2007, 02:51 PM
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#8 |
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TST Ruined My Life!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Warrington
Member #1614
My Ride: 1998 Acura Integra LS//VTEC iTrader: (0)
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Haha hell yeah Steve.
We ALWAYS pull crap out of this list! BRILLIANT!!
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Heller Dope - When the **** is doper than Hellen Keller; it's Heller Dope To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. BUY MY STUFF! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. |
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03-04-2007, 07:43 PM
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#9 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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Funny stuff.
DOH! This is Honest Bob...
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*I am Area1320* To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. Last edited by RyanG; 03-04-2007 at 07:51 PM. |
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05-16-2007, 07:56 PM
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#10 |
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Tri-State Addict
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F-in hilarious, i have a cut on my neck from those damn belts trying to saw it off.
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2001 Dakota Quad Cab, 1996 Ford F250, 1993 Honda Civic, 1991 Eagle Talon, 1970 Plymouth Duster. |
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05-16-2007, 09:25 PM
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#14 | ||
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Tri-State Post Whore
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You know you're a DSMer if you repost this list for the millionth time on a car site.
You know you're a DSMer if you bring one of these list threads back from the dead to post something to the effect of "lol!" or "true"
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05-16-2007, 09:46 PM
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#15 |
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Tri-State Post Whore
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well i'll lol it, a lot of them are vvvvry true, lol Ive never read through the whole thing til now
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*Formerly MissDSM->MissS2K->MissDSM* To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. 1997 Eclipse GSX For Sale To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures. 04-05 STi under $20k WTB |
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