lets here your best
here are some of my favs
a rich man and a poor man are out shopping for birthday presents for their wives. the poor man asks the rich man whathe's getting his wife 'i'm getting her a mink coat and a porsche, i figure if she doesn't like the mink coat, she'll like the porsche. what about you?' the poor man replies 'im getting her a pair of slippers and a dildo, that way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go **** herself'
another good one
a bloke goes to church to confess his sins to a priest 'forgive me father for i have sinned! i made hot passionate love to a woman half jy age last night over and over again' the priest thinks long and hard and says 'take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass then drink it' - 'will this cleanse my soul and forgive my sins?' the man asks, 'no,' the priest says 'but it'll wipe that smile off your face'
and...
2 guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches and demands they hand over all their money. they both get out their wallets and take out their cash. before handing the money over one of the guys turns to his friend and hands him a $50 bill 'here's that money i owe you' he says