sorry to hear. it is always upsetting to lose a pet.
i'm somewhat indifferent to it now though...
lost my dog when he was 6 to kidney failure and a blood clot. parents had a 4k bill after his two week stay in the vet hospital... would have been higher if he didn't get the clot .
few year later our other dog died at 8, forget exactly what happened.
then our 3 year old corgi had to be put down because his epilepsy was getting worse and worse...
found my child hood cat under the couch dead one morning... my mom's cousin was living in the house at the time and all she said was "i heard him crying"
but you did nothing... thanks bitch
after those, i can't say it doesn't affect me but it doesn't affect me as much.
it sucks, but it's life