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Old 11-03-2008, 04:36 PM   #1
R22B
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Good Lookout Points / Romantic Spots

I messed up big time and I'm close to losing the best thing that has ever happened to me.

For the last three years, I’ve been the worst boyfriend.... and now I know the feeling of losing the person I love. It hurts so freaking bad. I’m not one to ever cry, but now I find myself doing it. This past weekend, my life turned upside down after my fiancé dropped the bomb on me. She told me she loved me, but she wanted time apart and wanted maybe see other people. She wants us to work out, and we are still living together and going with each day.

In that single moment: I realized how much she meant to me. I realized how much I loved her. For the past three years, she has been putting up with me and has told me over and over again that what I do needs to change… and how I ignore her needs to change. I need to treat her good and that’s what she deserves.

Now, I’ve changed and it might be too late.

She loves me, but she isn’t in love with me if you know what I mean. The fact she wants this to work out and is giving us a while to work things out is something that I will never understand. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve another chance. Yet, she is still there by my side working with me.

This past weekend I lost like 12 pounds from stress/not eating/depression/self hatred. I’m so pissed at myself. One day she tells me I’m not affectionate enough, then the next I am smothering her. She told me I just need to be ME. So that’s what I’m doing… and honestly, I *think* it’s working out, but who knows?

What are some good spots near the Lehigh Valley or anywhere really that is romantic. We need to talk, reminisce and I need her… because the pain hurts 
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Old 11-03-2008, 04:54 PM   #2
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Well, I'll admit you guys at least make me laugh.
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Old 11-03-2008, 04:55 PM   #3
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being posted for someone we all know and love who can not share in this moment with us. . .

"that dude is ****ed though... no fiance wants to work things out once they say "maybe see other people" that only means she's been working on some other guys cock for the past few weeks and is feeling guilty about it now and trying to ease out of the relationship. and if being himself hasn't worked up to this point, its not going to work to regain her love... because by him being himself he lost it... so yeah... no more fiance for him. he needs to bail before his nuts get crushed in her kung fu grip"

But I would have to agree. It sucks man, and I hope it works out for you. But if it doesn't, well . . .
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Old 11-03-2008, 04:57 PM   #4
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dude i'm not going to pick this apart because i LITERALLY am in the same situation. just taking things for granted for too long and now you wanna make it up. idk how far you are from Northwestern Lehigh HS but its near the corner of rt 309 and 100. take 309 north (i think) from there heading twards tamaqua and at the top of the mountain you can see the etire lehigh valley on a clear night, go during the bum kickout meet and you might see the bon fire/donkey show. good luck with everything man, but after the situation with my lady friend, i've realized that if it wasn't meant to be than beating yourself up over it isn't going to help anyone. live and learn.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:08 PM   #5
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in all seriousness, she'll probably respond better if you take her some place that has significant meaning to both of you and your relationship.
like where you had your first date, or the first time you told her you loved her.

just telling her you'll change though, wont change her opinion. you have to actually show her you are making the effort to change.
maybe she wants the time so she can make sure this is what she wants for the rest of her life. either way, good luck
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:09 PM   #6
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Define treat her like ****...

Also what exactly do you need to change? Because people don't change.

The whole you need to change, love you but not in love with you, is usually the way bitches drop a guy and make them feel responsible without having much guilt on her end because she's found something else.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:15 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DC Hunny5 View Post
in all seriousness, she'll probably respond better if you take her some place that has significant meaning to both of you and your relationship.
like where you had your first date, or the first time you told her you loved her.

just telling her you'll change though, wont change her opinion. you have to actually show her you are making the effort to change.
maybe she wants the time so she can make sure this is what she wants for the rest of her life. either way, good luck
Oh I know... I've told her I'll change for the past two years... and I didn't. Now that I am stupid silly in love after the fact.

I'm taking her to see a band who plays our song. She knows this.

What I'm not telling her is that I'm trying to convince the band to let me sing with them for the song... haha.

It cant hurt to ask. If they say no, I'm still singing it to her.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:19 PM   #8
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Define treat her like ****...

Also what exactly do you need to change? Because people don't change.

The whole you need to change, love you but not in love with you, is usually the way bitches drop a guy and make them feel responsible without having much guilt on her end because she's found something else.
I'd ignore her and play games. I'd tell her to "shut the **** up" when I was playing games. I'd tell her that I don't want to hear about her day.

I was a complete asshole. I don't know why I was. I was never like that to any girl... I'll admit I don't deserve her and by no means I deserve another chance. I deserve to be kicked in the nuts/punched in the face/fecal matter be thrown at me.

It was like I needed complete control... argh.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:24 PM   #9
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sounds like you treated her like you did when you were in 6th grade, where you made fun of a girl because you liked her
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:26 PM   #10
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dude i was the same way for a long time. you just say ****, to say it, and see her reaction, and you just felt like there is no way they're going anywhere. i would KNOW when i did it to, like i would hear the **** coming out of my mouth and i knew it was exactly the same **** my dad said to my mom before they got devorced. it is a control thing for shore. I SAY, keep it up with the concert and things along those lines but showing her that you are going WAY out of your "comfort zone" just to put a smile on her face will make her see your true intentions. i ALWAYS tell my gf that it is easy to love someone for all their good attributes but to love someone's flaws because you know that they will do ANYTHING to make you happy is a big deal and you do not find that often. thats why im still with my crazy girlfriend, i love her and i know that despite all our fights and drama, we'll be there for eachother no matter what (even if we're not dating).
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:28 PM   #11
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Kirkridge. Nelson Overlook on the AT.
rt. 191 across the mountain from Bangor/Rosetto to Stroudsburg. if you're coming from the Bangor side, you'll pass where the Appalachian Trail crosses the road, and a few hundred feet past that there's a dirt access/gated road on the right side, the gate is open probably 90% of the time. Drive back to the parking lot for the building that's back there, get out of the car, and walk past the gate that's back there for about 1/8-1/4 mile until you hit the overlook.

you may run into hikers, campers, etc. there's a camping shelter located right in that area too.

It's pretty much my favorite place on the planet, one of the only places that makes me forget that the world sucks... peaceful and such, and should be especially pretty since it's Autumn.

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Old 11-03-2008, 05:30 PM   #12
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I'd ignore her and play games. I'd tell her to "shut the **** up" when I was playing games. I'd tell her that I don't want to hear about her day.

I was a complete asshole. I don't know why I was. I was never like that to any girl... I'll admit I don't deserve her and by no means I deserve another chance. I deserve to be kicked in the nuts/punched in the face/fecal matter be thrown at me.

It was like I needed complete control... argh.
HAHA. Thats great. I'm the same way with my g/f but at least I still tell her I love her and she makes fun of me right back. Way to be a total **** up. I'm telling you lets go with my plan.

Last edited by doug; 11-03-2008 at 09:26 PM.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
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dude i was the same way for a long time. you just say ****, to say it, and see her reaction, and you just felt like there is no way they're going anywhere. i would KNOW when i did it to, like i would hear the **** coming out of my mouth and i knew it was exactly the same **** my dad said to my mom before they got devorced. it is a control thing for shore. I SAY, keep it up with the concert and things along those lines but showing her that you are going WAY out of your "comfort zone" just to put a smile on her face will make her see your true intentions. i ALWAYS tell my gf that it is easy to love someone for all their good attributes but to love someone's flaws because you know that they will do ANYTHING to make you happy is a big deal and you do not find that often. thats why im still with my crazy girlfriend, i love her and i know that despite all our fights and drama, we'll be there for eachother no matter what (even if we're not dating).
I hate showing public affection... because I think its immature to hold hands/kiss in public.

And it just punched me in the face the other day. Who the hell gives a crap if people are looking at us for holding hands or kissing each other (not make out, sickos) in public. I'd never hold my hands with her or really kiss her in public, because I was afraid if other people thought it was immature... not realizing I shouldn't give a crap about if we were in love!!

Oh, I tried walking out after she dropped the bomb... and she wouldn't let me. She stood in front of the door and refused to move.. and when I got here away she wouldn't let go of my arm. Then she stole my keys from me.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:33 PM   #14
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damn talk about the boonies, but wow great view
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:34 PM   #15
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It shouldn't matter where you go, it should be more about the 2 of you working out your issues and you making an effort to keep it together.

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I hate showing public affection... because I think its immature to hold hands/kiss in public.
And it just punched me in the face the other day. Who the hell gives a crap if people are looking at us for holding hands or kissing each other (not make out, sickos) in public. I'd never hold my hands with her or really kiss her in public, because I was afraid if other people thought it was immature... not realizing I shouldn't give a crap about if we were in love!!

Oh, I tried walking out after she dropped the bomb... and she wouldn't let me. She stood in front of the door and refused to move.. and when I got here away she wouldn't let go of my arm. Then she stole my keys from me.
Girls love that stuff man, are you shy or embarrased to be with her?
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:36 PM   #16
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if you go up to the lehigh campus area there are some great spots that overlook bethlehem, good luck though i hope evreything works out for you
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:37 PM   #17
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Quote:
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It shouldn't matter where you go, it should be more about the 2 of you working out your issues and you making an effort to keep it together.


Girls love that stuff man, are you shy or embarrased to be with her?
Not at all. But she always took it like that so I cant blame her... as thats what it seemed like.

I was just never one to show public affection.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:40 PM   #18
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Not at all. But she always took it like that so I cant blame her... as thats what it seemed like.

I was just never one to show public affection.
Dude im not saying grope her, or start tearing each other's clothes off, but holding hands and kissing in public is......not really weird...its what 2 people that love each other do, if you are more concerned with what someone else thinks about you and her holding hands, you are not ready for a relationship.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:40 PM   #19
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damn talk about the boonies, but wow great view
well, he wanted Lehigh Valley, I grew up in Bangor so I know the area pretty well... I've taken a girlfriend or two up there for picnics and such. I could probably throw a couple more out there (which he could drive right up to) but they would require 4WD and a great suspension and/or truck you don't care about because the first half of the trail is pretty much rock crawling.

If he'd said Lancaster County, I'd have pointed him to Chickey's Rock but really, I doubt a nice overlook is going to solve his problems.
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:45 PM   #20
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ever go up to "the knob"??? its off 309 in the same general area up in the mountains...drive up the road, and walk about 10 minutes and you find this ->





me and my lady friend went up there on the 4th of july, she's not big into hiking or anything but you could see fireworks from dorney park, allentown, bethlehem, and all the small town stuff inbetween.
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