Some sick..sick jokes *NWS* gross warning*

[On Sale]

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

-I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a garbage can?

-One dead baby in ten garbage cans.

What' more fun than playing tether ball with a dead baby?

-Stopping it with a shovel.

What's more fun than stapling a dead baby to a fence?

-Ripping it back off.

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?

-The one on the bottom trying to eat it's way out :bigeek:

Whats pink and squeals?

-A peeled baby in salt

What do you give a dead baby for it's birthday?

- A dead puppy

Sorry if these offend you, go to hell :finga: !

[Gorilla Unit 33]

yeah dead babie jokes ....

[07BlackSS]

That takes me back to senoir year of high school....lol classic

[On Sale]

"this lady is giving birth in the hospital and the doctor delivering the baby delivers it, cuts the embilical cord, and then throws the baby really hard against the wall. the mother and father start freaking out when the doctor picks up whats left of the baby by its leg, and slams it against the wall again. then he picks up whats left of the baby, smiles at the devistated parents and says, " i`m just messing with you, it was already dead "

sorry, this one is kinda nasty, maybe i shouldnt post it.... cha, right.

[On Sale]

sorry for the double post but i gotta throw this joke in real quick. Forget where i read it, but i think its so damn funny.
------
Bill and bob where both experienced bungie jumpers. So one day they are sitting around trying to think of ways to make some extra cash. They came up with the idea to start a bungie jump (dont know proper name of it). So they got all the needed (Crane, Rope, Stage and misc. parts.) So they then had to decide on a place to start there new buisness. They decide to go to Mexico to start it, seeing as there is no place to bungie jump in mexico. So they head on down and start to build it. On the final day, right before they are about to open, people start to crowd around, and notice the crane and all. So Bill and Bob are up at the top of the crane, and decided, well we better demonstrate the ride. So Bill decides to jump off, all strapped in. He goes all the way down, and when he comes back up, Bob coudnt catch him. He goes back down and comes up again, Bob notices Bill is all cut up, and misses him. He goes back down and comes up again, and notices Bob is beat up pretty badly, and misses him once again. He then goes down one more time and comes up again, with broken bones and almost on concious.Bob finnally catches Bill and ask's him what happened? Was the rope to long? Bill responded, what the hell is a pinata??

This one had me laughing for quite awhile :wiggle:

[07BlackSS]

"this lady is giving birth in the hospital and the doctor delivering the baby delivers it, cuts the embilical cord, and then throws the baby really hard against the wall. the mother and father start freaking out when the doctor picks up whats left of the baby by its leg, and slams it against the wall again. then he picks up whats left of the baby, smiles at the devistated parents and says, " i`m just messing with you, it was already dead "

sorry, this one is kinda nasty, maybe i shouldnt post it.... cha, right.

hahahaha holy ****....that seriously had my laughing at my computer!

[Gohan]

sorry for the double post but i gotta throw this joke in real quick. Forget where i read it, but i think its so damn funny.
------
Bill and bob where both experienced bungie jumpers. So one day they are sitting around trying to think of ways to make some extra cash. They came up with the idea to start a bungie jump (dont know proper name of it). So they got all the needed (Crane, Rope, Stage and misc. parts.) So they then had to decide on a place to start there new buisness. They decide to go to Mexico to start it, seeing as there is no place to bungie jump in mexico. So they head on down and start to build it. On the final day, right before they are about to open, people start to crowd around, and notice the crane and all. So Bill and Bob are up at the top of the crane, and decided, well we better demonstrate the ride. So Bill decides to jump off, all strapped in. He goes all the way down, and when he comes back up, Bob coudnt catch him. He goes back down and comes up again, Bob notices Bill is all cut up, and misses him. He goes back down and comes up again, and notices Bob is beat up pretty badly, and misses him once again. He then goes down one more time and comes up again, with broken bones and almost on concious.Bob finnally catches Bill and ask's him what happened? Was the rope to long? Bill responded, what the hell is a pinata??

This one had me laughing for quite awhile :wiggle:

yeah...you read it from the post that I posted yesterday! :screwy:

[Chair-Force]

"this lady is giving birth in the hospital and the doctor delivering the baby delivers it, cuts the embilical cord, and then throws the baby really hard against the wall. the mother and father start freaking out when the doctor picks up whats left of the baby by its leg, and slams it against the wall again. then he picks up whats left of the baby, smiles at the devistated parents and says, " i`m just messing with you, it was already dead "

sorry, this one is kinda nasty, maybe i shouldnt post it.... cha, right.

LOL

[xEJ20x]

Whats the difference between a truck load full of bowling balls and a truck load full of dead babies.
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork. :mrgreen:

[MuddyREX]

:bigeek:

[mostasteless]

I love dead baby jokes, they are so wrong its funny. Lets hear some more. :mrgreen:

[DropTopChevy]

So true, so funny

Miller

[Broken5hift]

whats the difference between an abortion and a pile of poopy (stupid language block)

-the poopies free

[xEJ20x]

WARNING!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bathtub.

You can't **** a bathtub.







Now that I have officially reserved my seat in hell.
I'll see all you bastards there. :finga:

[On Sale]

WARNING!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bathtub.

You can't **** a bathtub.







Now that I have officially reserved my seat in hell.
I'll see all you bastards there. :finga:

^^^^AHHHHH^^^^ :bigeek: , il post some more later... im to lazy right now.

[FeeJ]

Ive got the most nasty joke ever that will land me in the troll cage, so im kind of hesitant to share it, I got it from my brother who got it from a co-worker that was formerly incarcerated. so if youre easily offended dont read it

How do you make a 6 ear old girl cry twice?
-You wipe your bloody *self* on their teddy bear

*edited for filter and context

[On Sale]

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: Ive got the most nasty joke ever that will land me in the troll cage, so im kind of hesitant to share it, I got it from my brother who got it from a co-worker that was formerly incarcerated. so if youre easily offended dont read it

How do you make a 6 ear old girl cry twice?
-You wipe your bloody *self* on their teddy bear

*edited for filter and context :jawdrop: :jawdrop: .. thats just wrong on so many levels... damn.

[xEJ20x]

Ive got the most nasty joke ever that will land me in the troll cage, so im kind of hesitant to share it, I got it from my brother who got it from a co-worker that was formerly incarcerated. so if youre easily offended dont read it

How do you make a 6 ear old girl cry twice?
-You wipe your bloody *self* on their teddy bear

*edited for filter and context

I heard that when I was in 8th grade. :roll:

[WhiteXFire]

Since we're already on this level...
Southpark Joke (http://www.mdljhu.com/private/other/southparkjoke.wmv) (~3.5MB)

[max2k1]

NWS*^^^^ Ive had that on my computer for a while "The Aristocrats"

[xEJ20x]

Since we're already on this level...
Southpark Joke (http://www.mdljhu.com/private/other/southparkjoke.wmv) (~3.5MB)

Heard it already. :roll:

[SexyDSM95]

Ive got the most nasty joke ever that will land me in the troll cage, so im kind of hesitant to share it, I got it from my brother who got it from a co-worker that was formerly incarcerated. so if youre easily offended dont read it

How do you make a 6 ear old girl cry twice?
-You wipe your bloody *self* on their teddy bear

*edited for filter and context
Got one that is similar...

What do you do after you are done eating a vegtable?
- Put the diaper back on and put her back in the wheel chair.

[On Sale]

Got one that is similar...

What do you do after you are done eating a vegtable?
- Put the diaper back on and put her back in the wheel chair.

you and your vegtables? im suprised you havnt thrown any "salad" jokes out, haha... So sandra , whats ur favorite veg? A cucumber? lol, just curious?

[WhiteXFire]

Did you guys hear about the three holes in the ground??


















Well well well....

:rofl: :rofl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :finga:

[On Sale]

^^^i dont get it

[SexyDSM95]

you and your vegtables? im suprised you havnt thrown any "salad" jokes out, haha... So sandra , whats ur favorite veg? A cucumber? lol, just curious?
I was asked this last night at Absolute. My answer was carrots, really curvy ones.

[On Sale]

I was asked this last night at Absolute. My answer was carrots, really curvy ones.

O, you like curvy carrots? You should talk to ... nm

[WhiteXFire]

How about the one about the sidewalk???
















Oh come on, it's all over town!! :rolleyes:

[andru1313]

What's the hardest thing about eating a vegtable.......



The Wheelchair

[mostasteless]

Whats the difference between a nwoman and a coffin.

you cum in one and go in the other


what does a wife and a tornado have in common?

they both start out calm and leave with everything you own.

[BlackBulletTSi]

wow yall sick, but I love it I guess I'll add this joke I got from a dude at my work whos nick name is big dirty. At the christmas party last year we asked him me and silverbullet that is like why and he goes I'll tell you a joke and you'll see why so this is what he says:

Theres this girl right shes 8 years old and walks up to her mom goes mom mom whats a penis and her moms just like oh dear you won't know about those for about 5-10 years she says ok walks away but you know shes 8 shes gotta know so whats she do goes up to her dad shes says daddy daddy whats a penis he looks at her and says you'll know in about 5 or 10 mins when your mother leaves for work.

I just looked at dude and was just in shock like wow you gotta be kiddin you did not just say that but granted yes he did I still can't get over that joke. I'm going to hell haha

[xEJ20x]

Theres this girl right shes 8 years old and walks up to her mom goes mom mom whats a penis and her moms just like oh dear you won't know about those for about 5-10 years she says ok walks away but you know shes 8 shes gotta know so whats she do goes up to her dad shes says daddy daddy whats a penis he looks at her and says you'll know in about 5 or 10 mins when your mother leaves for work.

Whats funny is that is one hell of a run-on sentence. :mrgreen:

[BlackBulletTSi]

yes I love em

[mostasteless]

Not sick, but good for a chuckel:

Rumsfeldt is briefing the president on the latest events in iraq when he mentions that three brazillian soldiers died in renewed fighting in the north of the country.
the president exclaims a loud anguished, "NO!" and buries his head in his hands.
his staff look shocked at this turn of grief.
then the president looks around and asks ," how many is a brazillian?"

[On Sale]

Not sick, but good for a chuckel:

Rumsfeldt is briefing the president on the latest events in iraq when he mentions that three brazillian soldiers died in renewed fighting in the north of the country.
the president exclaims a loud anguished, "NO!" and buries his head in his hands.
his staff look shocked at this turn of grief.
then the president looks around and asks ," how many is a brazillian?"

HHAHAHAHA that is so fricken funny, i can see bush doing that, hahaha.

[Crzyguy972]

i got one. so im at psu and this kid from germany walkes up to me and was like i have a joke for u ( in his german accent) he says i was banging this girl from behind and she turns around and says this is a pecular position and he said pecular thats a big word for an eight year old

[xEJ20x]

i got one. so im at psu and this kid from germany walkes up to me and was like i have a joke for u ( in his german accent) he says i was banging this girl from behind and she turns around and says this is a pecular position and he said pecular thats a big word for an eight year old

I heard one just like it but...it went like this.

So I'm bangin this girl from behind, when I decide to slip it in her ass.
She was a little shocked turned around and said, "Thats a little presumptuous of you". And I said, "Presumptuous is a pretty big word for a 10 year old".