MY OFFICIAL, Having a baby, whats with the Z thread

[AUTORACENBBOY]

So... ive made a couple of threads, 2 i believe total but am making this the official for advice from fellow people im sure have been in similar situations..
Just for a quick rerun...
Found out a week ago im having a baby.
2 weeks ago i was debating on selling my Z, Alex suggested to refi with a Personal Loan... i did saving $500 a month.
Still debating on looking for a home(mortgage) or continuing to rent.
Id like to find a mortgage that will be close to $950 a month. I have great credit so getting a good rate shouldnt be too hard.

Well yesterday we told her parents and mine... Surprisingly it went really well.
Of course they gave us the whole, whats your next step speech.
Now im currently looking for a ring to propose to my girlfriend. I had planned on proposing weeks ago, now it seems more like im obligated too... but im not.
I love this girl and cant wait to have my family together...
She refuses to tell me what kinda ring she likes so i have to wing it.
Now should i make her go with me to look at rings, or should i really just wing it lol?

By the way she just baught me an AMS radiator for my Z, i really dont want to sell her, i might just not drive her for a couple years...

[Scapegoat]

Still debating on looking for a home(mortgage) or continuing to rent.
Id like to find a mortgage that will be close to $950 a month. I have great credit so getting a good rate shouldnt be too hard.

:lol::lol:

[igo4bmx]

just curious if you were having money issues, how will you deal with a home, a ring, and a baby?
prolly should slow down a bit IMO.

[AUTORACENBBOY]

Didnt have money issues, i was worried i was paying for a car that was keeping my from enjoying other things. When i was paying on the Z, i was paying a good $700 a month leaving me with a couple $100 for funny money after bills and what not.
Now that the Z is owned, un insured and im just paying a small payment... i have plenty of money to store

[NJGOAT]

Well, my wife and I were already engaged when we found out she was pregnant, so it was a little easier in that regard. I guess on that one the only thing I would say is that just make sure that you aren't getting married because she's pregnant. It doesn't sound like that is the case, but just make sure that you are doing this for the right reasons.

In regards to a ring, you really need to look at your finances. Think about priorities and where you need your money to go. No point in buying a massive engagement ring only to find out you could really use the money down the road. Realize that if you are getting married and having a child that you guys are now 100% a team. Decisions need to be made by the team. Tell her that you would like to get her a ring and then discuss what is an appropriate budget. When it comes to style and choices, she's your fiancee, so just think about what she likes. Mine likes things that are plain and elegant, so a princess cut solitaire in a cathedral setting was perfect for her and not that expensive for me.

If you have to sell your car in order to stabilize your finances and be OK, then that is what you have to do. It sucks that you may have to sell your baby, but you can always get another car down the road. I just had to sell my GTO as we are expecting again and needed a bigger place. We just couldn't afford the monthly payment. I now drive a nice sedan, but one day down the road I will have another performance car, probably when my wife finishes nursing school. If you can make it work without doing it, great, but if you do have to sell it don't use it as leverage in an argument. Sell it because that is what you have to do for your family.

As for the house, I just want to point out some things because a lot of people on here don't realize how expensive houses really are right now in decent areas. You have good credit, so you will most likely qualify for a 0% down traditional 30 year fixed rate mortgage at a good rate. You will only need to pay closing costs out of pocket, but even that can be included in the deal. How much house do you think $950 per month mortage buys? If you are talking JUST the mortgage, $950 a month is pretty much a $160k house. You then need to add taxes, PMI (insurance you have to pay if you don't put 20% down) and home owners insurance. You can easily add another $300 - $500 on top of your mortgage. So, a $160k house will cost you between $1,250 and $1,450 a month on average depending on taxes.

Now, my challenge to anyone is to find a house in a safe town with decent schools where you can raise a family for $160k that doesn't need extensive work.

[AUTORACENBBOY]

thanx for the comments NJGOAT, much appreciated

on a side note.. i have a rant on LA FITNESS. ugh!!!
I joined last week, before the pregnancy, they said i have 7 days to cancel if theres a problem. Well i went to cancel my plan today, cooperate offices say i only had 3 days to cancel. So i bit the bullet and canceled my plan that extra $47 a month will just go into savings. I was pissed because i was hoping to be refunded, but instead i was robbed...Thanx LA FITNESS...

[zerioustt]

Well, my wife and I were already engaged when we found out she was pregnant, so it was a little easier in that regard. I guess on that one the only thing I would say is that just make sure that you aren't getting married because she's pregnant. It doesn't sound like that is the case, but just make sure that you are doing this for the right reasons.

In regards to a ring, you really need to look at your finances. Think about priorities and where you need your money to go. No point in buying a massive engagement ring only to find out you could really use the money down the road. Realize that if you are getting married and having a child that you guys are now 100% a team. Decisions need to be made by the team. Tell her that you would like to get her a ring and then discuss what is an appropriate budget. When it comes to style and choices, she's your fiancee, so just think about what she likes. Mine likes things that are plain and elegant, so a princess cut solitaire in a cathedral setting was perfect for her and not that expensive for me.

If you have to sell your car in order to stabilize your finances and be OK, then that is what you have to do. It sucks that you may have to sell your baby, but you can always get another car down the road. I just had to sell my GTO as we are expecting again and needed a bigger place. We just couldn't afford the monthly payment. I now drive a nice sedan, but one day down the road I will have another performance car, probably when my wife finishes nursing school. If you can make it work without doing it, great, but if you do have to sell it don't use it as leverage in an argument. Sell it because that is what you have to do for your family.

As for the house, I just want to point out some things because a lot of people on here don't realize how expensive houses really are right now in decent areas. You have good credit, so you will most likely qualify for a 0% down traditional 30 year fixed rate mortgage at a good rate. You will only need to pay closing costs out of pocket, but even that can be included in the deal. How much house do you think $950 per month mortage buys? If you are talking JUST the mortgage, $950 a month is pretty much a $160k house. You then need to add taxes, PMI (insurance you have to pay if you don't put 20% down) and home owners insurance. You can easily add another $300 - $500 on top of your mortgage. So, a $160k house will cost you between $1,250 and $1,450 a month on average depending on taxes.

Now, my challenge to anyone is to find a house in a safe town with decent schools where you can raise a family for $160k that doesn't need extensive work.

I totally agree just getting married and buying a house. But you have to remember ed houses are a lot cheaper in pa than in nj along with property taxes. Plus schools done matter because you can always sell in 5 years(when the schooling will matter).


As for the ring I make a decent living and I still put my wifes ring on layaway just because we were saving to buy a house. I'd suggest doing that or just buying something cheap untill you can buy her what she wants. She loves you and is having your child..supporting her and your family is more important. Gl with everything.

[EvlEgl]

Wow see what happens when I go MIA for a few months, Ed sells the goat is having a kid AND gets married, Christ...I had no idea all that happened dude!!!

NJgoat pretty much nailed it on the head and I would take his advice strongly being as I know him personally and he pulls no punches when it comes to life and tells you how it is without holding anything back.

Me and my girlfriend are saving for a house we just started a High yeild savings account with ING to keep things going in that department as money isn't really an issue with us we want a nice chunk of a downpayment so we can get a decent rate. Of course she's talking about a ring like crazy and I pretty much have what she wants picked out i'm just waiting for taxes and some more money to save up and I'm set...As far as your girl goes, Ask her friends or actually get one fo them to go out with you to shop for one. Most girls look at rings when there with there girlfriends so chances are one of her close friends should know what she really wants.

[NJGOAT]

Jay, you're right that houses and taxes are cheaper in PA, but not by much in a lot of the "better" areas. I really looked into PA before we settled on the house in Moorestown and I had a hard time finding something in the affordable range in the areas I looked at. I was also basing that on the township that was mentioned in one of the previous threads (Warrington???) and when I did a quick search there was only one house under $250k for sale. It's just really hard to find good housing (move in condition) in a nice area for less than $200k, which is what most people can afford.

I got a good deal on the townhouse and saved a LOT on property taxes and the hope is that we can move in a couple years into a larger house once Kelly is done nursing school. We really didn't want the complete burden of home ownership with a baby on the way and her in school, so a smaller place with an association that takes care of the maintenance was a better deal for us. However, if something happens and we can't move, then at least we live in a good town with good schools. You never know what 5 years is going to bring, but I wouldn't personally buy in a so-so area just hoping that in 5 years I can sell and move to an area with better/safer schools. I think along the lines that you may be stuck where you're at for a while, so you better make the right choice up front. Especially if kids are involved.

[zerioustt]

Jay, you're right that houses and taxes are cheaper in PA, but not by much in a lot of the "better" areas. I really looked into PA before we settled on the house in Moorestown and I had a hard time finding something in the affordable range in the areas I looked at. I was also basing that on the township that was mentioned in one of the previous threads (Warrington???) and when I did a quick search there was only one house under $250k for sale. It's just really hard to find good housing (move in condition) in a nice area for less than $200k, which is what most people can afford.

I got a good deal on the townhouse and saved a LOT on property taxes and the hope is that we can move in a couple years into a larger house once Kelly is done nursing school. We really didn't want the complete burden of home ownership with a baby on the way and her in school, so a smaller place with an association that takes care of the maintenance was a better deal for us. However, if something happens and we can't move, then at least we live in a good town with good schools. You never know what 5 years is going to bring, but I wouldn't personally buy in a so-so area just hoping that in 5 years I can sell and move to an area with better/safer schools. I think along the lines that you may be stuck where you're at for a while, so you better make the right choice up front. Especially if kids are involved.

I understand what you're saying about when kids are involved. I mean I don't have kids and I think I don't take that into consideration. I differ on some of your ideas but hey that's life.

I got an incredible deal for my house at 212k and already reappraised for 230k in less than a year even with the market as it is. I guess I just bought while it was a good time. But I do take a lot of my info from my mortgage guy and he's still telling me its a good time to buy. Was actually looking into possibly picking up a house to rent out.

But either way you go OP just be smart about your choices and don't spread yourself too thin.


Hey ed we need to get a beer sometime I miss you..haha no seriously though you me and some beers.

[igo4bmx]

thanx for the comments NJGOAT, much appreciated

on a side note.. i have a rant on LA FITNESS. ugh!!!
I joined last week, before the pregnancy, they said i have 7 days to cancel if theres a problem. Well i went to cancel my plan today, cooperate offices say i only had 3 days to cancel. So i bit the bullet and canceled my plan that extra $47 a month will just go into savings. I was pissed because i was hoping to be refunded, but instead i was robbed...Thanx LA FITNESS...

they lied
you're entitled to a 30 day cancellation policy but must fax or mail your cancellation notice to LA fitness HQ

[igo4bmx]

Jay, you're right that houses and taxes are cheaper in PA, but not by much in a lot of the "better" areas. I really looked into PA before we settled on the house in Moorestown and I had a hard time finding something in the affordable range in the areas I looked at. I was also basing that on the township that was mentioned in one of the previous threads (Warrington???) and when I did a quick search there was only one house under $250k for sale. It's just really hard to find good housing (move in condition) in a nice area for less than $200k, which is what most people can afford.

I got a good deal on the townhouse and saved a LOT on property taxes and the hope is that we can move in a couple years into a larger house once Kelly is done nursing school. We really didn't want the complete burden of home ownership with a baby on the way and her in school, so a smaller place with an association that takes care of the maintenance was a better deal for us. However, if something happens and we can't move, then at least we live in a good town with good schools. You never know what 5 years is going to bring, but I wouldn't personally buy in a so-so area just hoping that in 5 years I can sell and move to an area with better/safer schools. I think along the lines that you may be stuck where you're at for a while, so you better make the right choice up front. Especially if kids are involved.

obviously the OP can live maybe a couple years in a lower end house until its time to worry about education for the child.
finding houses in PA or NJ isn't cheap- so far everything me and the wifey looked at is over 400k :(

[NJGOAT]

I understand what you're saying about when kids are involved. I mean I don't have kids and I think I don't take that into consideration. I differ on some of your ideas but hey that's life.

I got an incredible deal for my house at 212k and already reappraised for 230k in less than a year even with the market as it is. I guess I just bought while it was a good time. But I do take a lot of my info from my mortgage guy and he's still telling me its a good time to buy. Was actually looking into possibly picking up a house to rent out.

But either way you go OP just be smart about your choices and don't spread yourself too thin.


Hey ed we need to get a beer sometime I miss you..haha no seriously though you me and some beers.

I'm definitely down for that beer sometime. I'm free almost any night right now (except tonight, going to Flyer's game), so just hit me up on a night that works for you.

[sleepersatty99]

ahhh just wing it on the ring... have your parents or hers help you out.

[CWBETB]

Time to sell the Toy :P

[james_ls]

I'll take care of the Z for you.

I'm literally RIGHT DOWN the hill too.

[dragonfly2k3]

If you can afford to hold onto the Z then do it. But look ahead. If you're not sure if in a couple of months you will be able to afford it start to sell now. You are not going to get your asking price overnight. The other thing is, save, you have 9 months, save as much now while you have less bills as possible. There are alot of expenses that come with the first child(assuming you space them you can re-use alot of the first childs items later on.)

[EvlEgl]

He's right, Work your balls off bank as much of it as possible and start buying stuff now It'll be easier on both of you if you ease into it rather then let it all hit you at once. I'm assuming your G/f works correct? So up until she cant work anymore you gotta save up as much as you can and get things situated.

Good luck with everything you seem to have your head on straight yet you like any male who's into cars doesnt want to give up there passion, Sometimes you just cant have both

[AUTORACENBBOY]

Well... i neglected to mention i live with another girl hahahahahaha. no but seriously, shes a roomate. Its me and my girl, then the roomate in her room.
The girlfriend and I told the roomate the other night about the baby expecting her to eventually plan on moving out, i figured she has 9 months to look around...didnt go that way.

The baby will be expected around sept.. roomate doesnt get done school till december
i dont know about you but im not trying to have my baby in the same room for 4 months.
Id like to work on my nursery.
So you can tell i dont want the roomate in too long. Now the lease to the apt is up in july. I can resign the lease for my girlfriend and I and will allow the roomate to stay for the 9 months. Once baby hit or even 8th month.. bye bye roomate.
I think im gonna give her the option, Once july hits you can take over the lease and find a roomate and my girl and I will get another rental or... she leaves... i know its wrong but i wanna work on my family roomate free and nursery intact.

[zerioustt]

I know my both my brothers babies stayed in their room for about 5-6 months before they put them into their own room. That child is a 24 hour a day job, and trust me you won't want to be that far apart from the baby for those first few months. plus I think its kinda rude to kick someone out like that, they didn't have anything to do with the baby. Plus the person is in school.

[AUTORACENBBOY]

ya i know i feel like an ass about the situation which is why i really didnt come up with an answer yet... im stuck...
i post to listen to others views on the situation as well as me thinking more clearly on my own. With the stress and the fact that our roomate is back, ughhh, put it this way... she isnt an angel nor did i mention she was. Just like any roomate she gets lazy on rent money, which we really dont need to stress over right now

[zerioustt]

ya i know i feel like an ass about the situation which is why i really didnt come up with an answer yet... im stuck...
i post to listen to others views on the situation as well as me thinking more clearly on my own. With the stress and the fact that our roomate is back, ughhh, put it this way... she isnt an angel nor did i mention she was. Just like any roomate she gets lazy on rent money, which we really dont need to stress over right now

Not trying to make you feel bad I was just playing devils advocate. Also think of it as some extra cash flow for the first few months after the babys born. Less rent = more money in your pocket for your family. Just lay down the law about the not paying the rent on time. Trust me you won't stick that baby in its room before 6 months especially considering this is your first.

[AUTORACENBBOY]

ugh, i really dont need to be stressen over somethin stupid like this, i swear my girls hormones i rubben off on me.

[NJGOAT]

The hormones only get worse, until they level out around the second trimester...lol.

If it were me, the roommate would be gone. If it won't work out that way, there is nothing wrong with having the baby sleep in a basinette in your room for the first few months. It generally makes it easier on you guys anyway. Most people do this for at least the first couple months until the baby starts sleeping through the night. Not to mention that hearing a baby scream every 2 hours for 2 months straight, may scare your roommate away anyway, lol.

PS Not all news is bad. Second Trimester sex is off the hook. Seriously it's like the best sex ever.

[AUTORACENBBOY]

yeah i mean i want her gone, but im willing to be nice and give her the option to find another roomate and stay there so my girl and I can go to a better apt, with quiter neighbors

[ILLJIM69]

don't sell it. i bought my Z and found out one month later my wife was knocked up, lulz.

but you might not be able to swing too many mods for a while.

good luck!

jim

[ILLJIM69]

my girl and I can go to a better apt, with quiter neighbors

yeah, cause you guys are going to be the quietest folks for everyone else around you when you have a newborn right? lulz, kids generally never shut up either for the first few years.

:lol:

jim

[FazdaGt]

I can't help you on the baby advice.

i can on the young guy and owning house thing.

at 19, my tiwn brother and i bought our home as we felt itd be stupid to throw money away on renting.

real estate in this area is reasonable and while the house does need some work its very nice and managable

the mortgage alone on 140K wasnt bad, but once all of the taxes and insurance was escrowed in, it comes out to nearly $1300
monthly for just the house. other expenses add up quickly as well, and winter time. well its expensive.

we live comfortably and dont really "worry" about money, but our combined annual gross income is nearly 100K and we do odd side jobs often.

buying a house is extremely smart, especially when you're starting a family. just make sure you can afford it.

renting for a few years might help you out as the cost of living wont be nearly as high and youll be able to afford more to give your son or daughter a better first few years.

the stresses of owning a house are high especially when it is old and needs some attention, at the price you're looking to pay youll be in that market, that on top of a newborn, a new marriage, and making ends meet might be a bit much to take on.

at any rate, id sell the z, establish a solid bank account so if money becoems tight you can fall back on it. you can always replace a car down the road when its more feasible financially. cars are great but im sure in time your child will be 100X more important to you.


my two cents.

good luck with it all!

[AUTORACENBBOY]

ok well let me update you on the whole roomie from hell, prego down my back episode 2
so now, my girlfriend doesnt want the roomate around, honestly nor do I, shes a slob, ugh cant stand it. girlfriend texts me while im at work,
"i had to clean the kithcen after her... and you dont even wanna know what she left in the shower"
so now when i go home, i know im gonna be pissed.
So ya know what im gonna drop the ball and just tell the roomate she has to be out or find another roomate to move in by july so my girl and i can get our own lease
I dont want to add more stress so if getting rid of her will make it easier... then so be it.